She’s old now, 16.5 years and counting. Willow is a honey blonde Lasa Apso. We rescued her 13.5 years ago. In turn, she rescued us.
She has been going blind for the last two years. One eye we think only registers light to her; the other has vision but probably quite blurry with little depth perception. She walks into curbs and walls. Not with gusto, just slight bumps. She grows more skittish of the unknown, and barks at shadows.
Her hearing is not acute. That has been coming on for at least 3 years. Still, she responds to noises and clapped hands. Her world is growing darker and more silent. With that she sleeps a lot.
Lately she has not been eating regularly. If she thinks you are offering her a treat – or should be! – she will eat what is handed her. If it comes in a bowl, however, forget it.
Even her favorite treats are rebuffed these days. We think that is the state of her teeth and gums. Hard treats are not worth her effort or pain.
Taken together we watch Willow closely. She seeks our presence. Sits down close to us. Snoozes a bit. Then she makes her way to her bed and takes a serious nap. Little food, lots of sleep, fading action, we know the end is approaching.
Next week we are having her groomed. Then we will visit the vet for some opinions on what is happening and when to expect the end.
Just when I think she may not be breathing, she bounces back to life, chipper and curious as ever. A dash down the hall for her walk, and tugging at her leash to get out as soon as possible, and we are left wondering why we thought the end was nigh.
This is life with our beloved dog. She has been a comfort and companion for many years. She will be wretchedly missed when she is gone. We are trying to get used to that idea. Not an easy one. But a necessary step. It is only the when now.
And we wonder. And hope for another day.
October 7, 2019
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