Mellow?

I’ve written this blog for nearly 7 months now (October 4, 2011). 212 postings later and a growing readership. It’s been an interesting ride. It’s been fun writing every day and realizing there is even more on my mind that I will write about tomorrow and the day after, and so on. 

Idle time and idle thoughts now mean something different to me. And sorting it out in the blog helps me keep a better balance to my life. Might this be mellow? Could it possibly be that I’m calming down and accepting life as it is? 

Family and friends probably laugh at that possibility! I have rarely been mellow. Excitable, sometimes raging and ranting, yes. Mellow? Never! Well, they will have to continue to judge my exterior; I can’t. But inside I can report on a sense of calm that is a good thing. I feel it and see it. And it is good. 

I no longer think opposing ideas come from fruitcakes! And I allow their ideas to test mine. Sometimes I’m forced to rethink things. Other times I remain even more resolved to my conclusions. The process, however, is a healthy one. It helps me understand things better. And that also keeps civility alive and well in dealing with others. 

Of course we give others room to be different from us. There is a tolerance or wiggle room we allow. But family? No!  Decidedly no!  They know us don’t they? They trust our thinking and values, and …….. Whatever! They should know better and not be so obtuse. Really!  How could they think that way!!! 

Well, that’s the context in which they know me. And they don’t understand me anymore than I understand them. And that’s the way of family. Close enough to know each other, but too close so we really don’t understand. And thus small things grow into big blogs of discomfort, judgment, resentment. 

That still happens. My sister is 70; my brother 74. They sit in their own places steamed at me because I don’t live like them; but then again I do. We are alike and yet feel so different. Mellow does not describe them or me in this context. Each of us tend to judge each other. Some show it more than others. That’s what gets people steamed! I try to fit in with them to keep the peace but I won’t allow them to walk all over me. So…..I get steamed with them. 

Good thing brother lives in Rochester, New York and sister livcs in Phoenix area. Lots of space between us. Phone lines are quiet these days between us; so is internet. The quiet is peace. No transactions needed among us. Mom is still alive at 98 and that’s is our common thread. Too bad, really. We have so much life to explore and chuckle over and grow in wisdom over. Won’t happen I think. Mellow is mutual. 

Mutual mellow. Hadn’t thought of it that way. Mellow attracts mellow? Do you think? Or is it a one way street. I guess it depends on the willingness of the other person; are they ready to be mellow or receive mellow? Or am I allowing it or obstructing it. 

Either way, I hope mellow begets mellow. It’s creative and respectful. Respectful of other ideas, feelings and contexts.  Seemingly so much alike, yet often very, very different. 

Do we appreciate those minor differences? Or do we magnify them into obstructions? Maybe we should add a dollop of mellow to our lives. Take a deep breath; smell the surrounding air. Seek calm. Now resume your pondering.  

Did that help? If not, keep doing it. When mellow arrives, enjoy!

April 22, 2012