Judging Not

If we are honest with ourselves we judge others. We know we shouldn't but we do. Human nature? Probably. But still, how can we break ourselves of this behavior. Can we?

Brazilian lyricist and novelist Paulo Coelho shares this thought with us:

“We can never judge the lives of others because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”

Renunciation. Good word. Rejection of beliefs that stand in the way of knowing self, rejection of worldly pleasure to do that. How much pleasure must be jettisoned to find what is worthy in life? How much homework inside me must be done to achieve a renunciation that works for me? Or for anyone? And can we share this with others? Can we discuss this in any meaningful manner?

Interesting question. An imponderable most likely. But still the inner work that each of us whittles away at from time to time.

And at different ages. I suspect I did this before puberty, and after, and then annually or so for many years. I did it in high school to determine if I wanted to go on to college. Once in college I worked at it again to determine what to study and major in. I searched for a career direction, or at least a life direction. Once out of school I wondered how my work-life would shape a long term career, a calling to purposefulness. Yes. I did ask these questions back then. Still do! I think the process is never done. Quite likely it is what makes life worthwhile – the continuing pursuit of meaning and purpose.

From time to time conclusions come. Meaning shines brightly. Realization dawns.  Bob Moawad says it best:

            “The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.”

He goes on to say:

“No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours.  It is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.

This is the day your life really begins.”

Wow! Strong stuff. Good. Very good.

I keep coming back to the quote from John Updike I read 40 years ago or so ~ “Be of use.”

Such a simple declarative statement. Three words. Whole novels have been written on this one basic idea. Entire libraries have been filled in search of this one ideal.

Be of use. So simple. Of what use will my life be? Am I fulfilling my capability? Is it directed to my own good? Or to the benefit of others? What is ‘use’?

Updike used this statement to describe the basic Protestant theology of early American history – and its transcendence to modern day. The ends of theology guide people to useful lives not spirituality. The latter is the means to find the purpose. The purpose is the end.

As we pursue our work, our life at home or away, are we being of use in the lives of others? Are we helping others be as much as they can possibly be? Have I helped someone lately? Do I routinely do this without thinking about it? Has it become selfless?

I cannot answer the question very well. I’m still thinking about it. But I guess the pursuit means that the means are working. Usefulness is being fulfilled if not fully thought out! Practice makes perfect we can hope.

Judge not the other person? How then do we know if they need our help? Isn’t that a judgment? No wonder this is not simple.

Be of use, indeed!

January 2, 2013