It seems to me that Americans talk a lot and complain a lot.
The more this goes on the angrier people get. Often the anger is not about
disagreements over topics; rather it is personal and cantankerous. Our
incivility begets vitriol begets ugly anger and maybe even violence. Add
alcohol and the violence is almost automatic. Add guns and tragedy emerges,
too.
I think much of this is due to laziness. We tend not to
carefully think through the many ideas and discussions we witness daily. Many
of these we participate in as well.
The laziness is really a lack of discipline. A lack of
research and deeper thought on issues that matter to us. Rather than react to
someone’s opinion because it doesn’t agree with yours completely, keep silent
and ponder what he is saying. Note your disagreement with his argument. Follow
that up with research. Determine if he is basically correct in recitation of
facts; or incorrect and how and why that is the case. If the debater isn’t
speaking of facts, then later you can call him on that. If you have the
opportunity to discuss this with him at another time, share the results of your
research. Do not accuse. Make it a pleasant interchange. If he doesn’t take
this well, do not discuss it further with him and avoid all future discussion
until he proves he is prepared.
No sense making matters worse arguing points with someone who
doesn’t respect truth, facts or logic. Avoiding these folks may actually
encourage them to prepare better for future discussions.
Laziness. The avoidance of research. The avoidance of taking
the time to check facts. The sloppiness of using opinion as fact when it is not
so. Laziness, too, to short cut logic and just get angry because of
frustration. It doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t make you right. It erodes
trust and civility.
This laziness can be cured by investing time as outlined
above. But another solution may be thinking seriously about what we want from
life, from society, from institutions, and from government.
Often we focus on problems. Then it is a fight to determine
how to solve those problems. The better solution is defining the outcome we
wish for. I know this sounds too simple, but stop and think about it. Have you
actually defined what you want to see prevalent in American society? In your
neighborhood or town or city? Have you?
For example, here are some outcomes I would dearly see
emerge in our American culture:
-A
reduction of gun violence
-A
reduction of youth gangs
-High
completion rates for all grades in school, especially high school graduation
-Access to
continuing education so each person gets what they need to fulfill their
talents and interests
-Healthy environment: clean air, soil
and water
-Smooth
career transitions toward the new and the rewarding, matched to talents
and passions
-Access to
health care that values each human life
-Respect
for all religions or atheism; it’s personal not requiring social adherence
-Peace
among nations; elimination of war
That’s a heady list. My point, though, is each is
attainable. We don’t have to worry about how each topic will be handled; just
that the end result is something we can agree on. The how will become more
evident later on. First settle on the goal.
I truly believe we don’t do enough thinking about outcomes.
Being clear on them is the first step in finding a solution to any problem
related to the outcome. It takes discipline and patience to do this work.
It would also reduce heated arguments. That’s a good step to
make other good things happen!
June 28, 2017
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