Caring For One Another

Throughout life we are asked to care for one another, even love one another. All the great religions have commanded their followers to love one another as yourself. Not an easy commandment to follow. Probably the hardest of them all as well.

It helps if you love yourself. That sound obvious, and simple. It is not obvious and it is not simple.

Ask any psychologist or psychiatrist to name the central problem most people suffer. I bet they’ll say something like: ‘people have a hard time loving themselves first; after that it is easier to love others and get along in the world.’

If any doctors care to differ with me, fine; just share what it is you think the number one problem with most of your patients is. Not the symptoms, the causal problem. I’ll be happy to share the statistics of what you all report back to me. Confidentiality is assured.

Back to my point, if people can’t love themselves or do so poorly, then their ability to love others is hindered or absent.

Life’s lessons teach us again and again how caring for others is the key to living a happy life. Caring for others is a form of loving others. If this comes hard for you, then you might delve into what you feel about yourself.

As an exercise, however, help someone less fortunate than yourself and see how this affects what you think about the problems you think are frustrating your own life. We worry about how clean our home is and whether it is ready to receive visitors. Bosh! Help a homeless person and watch your cleaning standards evaporate. If you are worried about weight gain, feed the hungry and I bet you will find changing your diet a much simpler task.

Help a child understand a lesson or homework. Struggle with them to understand the assignment, the subject matter and the lesson to be learned. Struggle along with them. I bet that will be hard. As successful as you may be, education terminology has changed and you most likely will be very confused. Just think about ‘new math’ for a taste of what I’m getting at here.

Anyway, helping a child with their homework will teach you about patience, the process of learning and a whole lot of logic. Time, patience and care. That’s what it takes to help someone else and help ourselves at the same time.

No; it’s not magic. This is the central point of all human interaction. We need to be cared for, and we need to care for others. The one is dependent on the other. Strength comes from the practice of such care. And the community of mankind improves. So does the common good improve.

Take housing for senior citizens. Although independent for most of their lives, and helping younger generations gain their own independence, they now face some stark realities of reliance on others to maintain a good life. They become more limited doing chores, they can’t reach high enough to change light bulbs near the ceiling; they can’t safely climb ladders. Nor can they spend hours maintaining a yard and lawn.

More and more aging senior citizens either hire this work done, or, if lacking funds, they ask for help from neighbors or family. Failing that – more likely, not willing to be thought useless! – they downsize their living arrangements and move to a smaller home space and maybe one with assisted living features.

Our society is living longer. Health care has extended life span. This means more of us will live longer among the younger citizens and need a level of care that we have not had to worry about so much. Now we do need to prepare for it.

When you look for alternative housing options for you, your spouse, or an aging family member, you will quickly learn how limited the choices are. Mainly the choices are few because of high costs. Basically anything and everything is possible if enough money is available. Most of us don’t live in that world, however. Careful examination of the options will be necessary. Still few options exist.

This is where the caring comes into the picture. You may not be your brother’s keeper, but if you wish to be treated kindly, you will need to treat others kindly as well. Basic caring strengthens our society. Responding to the needs of others is a first step in making this a reality in your life.

It is also the primary step of caring.

Welcome to this new chapter of your life’s journey!

July 13, 2017