Looking for Home

At any stage of life a person wants to feel at ease, at home. But that may not be possible. That truth arises when one considers place automatically as home. Home is different. It is not a simple matter of place.

Let me explain. To me connectedness is a definer of home. Neighbors greet you, know your name. More, they are involved in organizations or interests that you, too, are active in. Neighbors who call on you for help or information, that’s more than place; that is connectedness; that helps define home.

Community is more than neighborhood; it is town or village or section of city. It is a region in which you feel connected. Your church life. Your club or organization life. Hobby interests or avocations, you have people in town who share those interests at a deep level; you work together and create together.

You may work at a job in your community as well. If so customers and clients may come from the community. Fellow workers may live in your community. These connections are more extensions of home. You are aware of life beyond your house, beyond your immediate neighborhood and its people. Your ‘home’ has grown in size and characteristics. This is home.

Cooperative programs may develop among different groups in town in order to serve a special group of people in need, or perhaps to enrich the cultural offerings of the community, or maybe to solve a larger problem such as community development, economic growth and opportunity; you get the idea. Working together on larger goals that will benefit the entire community; not just self. Oh sure there are personal rewards from this activity, but still there is this sense of community, of home attached to the endeavor.

Now, just for the hell of it, consider the need to move to another home. Where will it be? What makes it attractive or compelling? Is it affordable? Do its physical characteristics fit my health needs, allow my limitations? And the same for my family or household? Is there diversity in the new place that allows me to feel comfortable, you know, me and my differences? Or will I feel out of place, maybe even unwanted? Neither of these would feel much like home.

I need to be needed, or at least wanted. I don’t want to feel tolerated.

Warrenville is my home. I feel at rest here and wanted, needed, appreciated and accepted. I don’t feel tolerated although Rocky and I are a gay couple. This means something special to some people, something very negative to others, and absolutely nothing to the remaining good folks of town!

I’ve been active here not because I sought anything other than involvement and learning and being an active partner in the birthing of a community’s sense of itself and its possibility. Quality of life this speaks to. Quality of life is also in the doing of this. And the personal rewards have been plentiful. So, you see this is my home, our home.

As our ages advance and the cost of living increases, our income becomes more inadequate. So either income must grow from part time employment, or expenses must be cut. The only expense to cut at this point of our efforts is cheaper housing. Smaller place; lesser amenities. Not buying but renting at this stage of life. So a rental property that is stable, healthy and affordable is our goal. 

We have found possibilities but no clear answer yet. This is what we need:

• A place for Rocky’s ceramics studio; garage, basement or remote site that is cheap
• 2 bedrooms and preferably 2 baths
• Generous living room with dining space
• Eat in kitchen preferred as well
• Dishwasher and garbage disposer also preferred
• Square footage of 900 to 1100 would be adequate
• Garage space for one car

Anyone know of a place that fits this description in Warrenville?

If not we shall look elsewhere. But that will likely locate a place, not a home.

April 12, 2012