Idle time and idle thoughts now mean something different to
me. And sorting it out in the blog helps me keep a better balance to my life.
Might this be mellow? Could it possibly be that I’m calming down and accepting
life as it is?
Family and friends probably laugh at that possibility! I
have rarely been mellow. Excitable, sometimes raging and ranting, yes. Mellow?
Never! Well, they will have to continue to judge my exterior; I can’t. But
inside I can report on a sense of calm that is a good thing. I feel it and see
it. And it is good.
I no longer think opposing ideas come from fruitcakes! And I
allow their ideas to test mine. Sometimes I’m forced to rethink things. Other
times I remain even more resolved to my conclusions. The process, however, is a
healthy one. It helps me understand things better. And that also keeps civility
alive and well in dealing with others.
Of course we give others room to be different from us. There
is a tolerance or wiggle room we allow. But family? No! Decidedly no!
They know us don’t they? They trust our thinking and values, and ……..
Whatever! They should know better and not be so obtuse. Really! How could they think that way!!!
Well, that’s the context in which they know me. And they
don’t understand me anymore than I understand them. And that’s the way of
family. Close enough to know each other, but too close so we really don’t
understand. And thus small things grow into big blogs of discomfort, judgment,
resentment.
That still happens. My sister is 70; my brother 74. They sit
in their own places steamed at me because I don’t live like them; but then
again I do. We are alike and yet feel so different. Mellow does not describe
them or me in this context. Each of us tend to judge each other. Some show it
more than others. That’s what gets people steamed! I try to fit in with them to
keep the peace but I won’t allow them to walk all over me. So…..I get steamed
with them.
Good thing brother lives in Rochester ,
New York and sister livcs in Phoenix area. Lots of space between us. Phone
lines are quiet these days between us; so is internet. The quiet is peace. No
transactions needed among us. Mom is still alive at 98 and that’s is our common
thread. Too bad, really. We have so much life to explore and chuckle over and
grow in wisdom over. Won’t happen I think. Mellow is mutual.
Mutual mellow. Hadn’t thought of it that way. Mellow
attracts mellow? Do you think? Or is it a one way street. I guess it depends on
the willingness of the other person; are they ready to be mellow or receive
mellow? Or am I allowing it or obstructing it.
Either way, I hope mellow begets mellow. It’s creative and
respectful. Respectful of other ideas, feelings and contexts. Seemingly so much alike, yet often very, very
different.
Do we appreciate those minor differences? Or do we magnify
them into obstructions? Maybe we should add a dollop of mellow to our lives.
Take a deep breath; smell the surrounding air. Seek calm. Now resume your
pondering.
Did that help? If not, keep doing it. When mellow arrives,
enjoy!
April 22, 2012
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