Waiting

It’s a long boring road. Waiting. Waiting some more. Taking a nap to push it out of mind. Upon waking nothing has changed. Back to waiting.

The house is still our home. It just doesn't belong to us; not really. We are in foreclosure. The house is listed for a short sale. Fannie Mae wants it to be over. So does Citimortgage. And us. Oh do we want it to be over. So we can get on with our lives wherever that takes us.

Who would have thought life would take this turn? Certainly not me. The overachiever, one-time high income earner? Lover of all things ‘community’. The person who thinks each of us can make a difference (we can!). The guy who listens to kids in trouble, elderly in poor health, and dispirited souls of any stripe?

Still things are good. The car works. It has nice features. It’s used and heavily indebted, but it is the magic chariot that takes us where we need to go. There are places we’d like to go but not enough gas money to make the trips. Still the possibility remains!

We still have art to inspire our days. Books to both tickle and challenge the mind. Friends to communicate with. Ideas to write about and share. Public problems to ponder and solutions to tinker with and suggest to the town leaders.

We have meaningful days, just not very full. We nap a lot. And wait for someone to buy the house so we can move on to whatever will be.

We've looked at possible housing options. The most affordable – no not a tent! – is a manufactured home. Most people think of them as double wide house trailers. We think of them as compact, easy to care for, efficient housing that offers accessibility and shelter. We like them. Just not where they usually are located. That would be trailer parks. You can dress them up but they are still trailer parks. Filled with the elderly and low income people. Nice enough people, really. Just people who have fewer and fewer options to pursue. Like us.

Wonder what it will be like living in small rooms? No yard. Close neighbors. Are they waiting too?

To get attention from the mortgage holder you stop paying the mortgage. That’s easy enough. Living costs take most of the income and it’s nice to have a little left over at the end of the month. Still it takes the mortgage bank three months to take notice, four to take your call and discuss matters in earnest.

We offered a short sale solution immediately. They said to file for a HAMP – Homeowner’s Assistance Mortgage Program (or something like that). I already did that; twice. Turned down both times but got a great modified loan directly from Fannie Mae, this time though not enough cash for medications and food, so the foreclosure was the only option. HAMP application was filed anyway to satisfy Fannie Mae. Turned down just like I thought. Suggested the short sale option again and this time they said yes. On the market since mid-September! We are now in April. A full year of not paying the mortgage. Five people have viewed the home. The price is $110,000 lower than the house was worth three years ago. When sold the net value of the house will be $60,000 or more below the mortgage balance. If they had worked sooner that loss would have been lower. But….

So the court summons arrives announcing the formal court foreclosure proceedings. We are invited to remain in the house to keep it safe from vandals and the ravages of winter weather. We pay the HOA fees, the utilities and a couple thousand in repairs for the plumbing. We keep the house homey. We treat it as the home it is! And go about our usual routines.

Those are less and less as we contemplate what comes later. Will there be a home for us in our community? Or will we have to relocate? We know a trailer park filled with people like us. Waiting for the next day and the next to dawn and promise…what?

Not sure. But we do what we can; we wait.

April 5, 2013