Youth Message Follow-up

My May 13^th blog posting was a two-pronged message I wanted to deliver to the youth group I work with on Friday evenings. The group is comprised of teenagers between 14 and 18, mostly 16 and younger. They have all been caught as under-age drinkers or drug users. They are in the program because their parents mandated their attendance, or a judge did order it or threatened the parents that he/she would!

So, at the beginning of their journey in the program their attendance is not usually voluntary. They’d rather be somewhere else. Their program lasts 6 to 9 months for most.

Friday evening closes their week’s program with a junior Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Obviously not all have an addiction problem with alcohol, but they have been caught consuming booze while underage. Most of them have been cited for using marijuana, amphetamines, prescription drug abuse of all kinds, and yes, even cocaine and heroin. Some became habitual users; others were recreational users but trafficked the goods to earn funds to pay for their own drug use.

I’m present to bring a workable 12-step program into their lives. No one can make someone use the 12-steps; that’s up to them. If they see the value of it they will adopt it. My role is to help them see the possibility. Most of the time we will never know if our work blossomed. We can only hope it does.

The two messages I finally shared with them Friday evening were these:

First, education and learning is a process of discovery by each student. Such a process will support life-long learning and development of the person. Education should rarely be by rote. Do today’s kids feel ‘talked to’ or listened to? Do they feel respected in the process of learning? Are they engaged in a partnership of discovery with their teachers?

Second, are they willing to endure pain in order to understand life? Some people avoid pain at all costs but then lose the strength to discover themselves through discomfort.

The group Friday night was unusually small, two young women and two young men. Two adults were present. Here’s how they handled the discussion.

Both women readily picked up the discussion. They were excited. The youngest man was also animated and engaged in the discussion. One fellow was distant and uncomfortable or unwilling to engage. In a larger group these four persons would likely engage in the same manner, but the others would likely avoid the hard thinking involved.

I sensed these kids wanted to talk about their experiences. They have felt talked to rather than ‘engaged’. Education as rote – routine, memorization – is what they feel predominates in their classrooms. They seemed to hunger for involvement in the process of thinking. They demonstrated excitement at exploration and discovery. They brought their own motivation to the process. And no, they don’t feel this is what their education has been like.

So, Jean Piaget (1896-1980) was right when he queried:

“Are we forming children who are only capable of learning what is already known? Or should we try to develop creative and innovative minds capable of discovery from the preschool age on throughout life?”

I think today’s youth are willing to engage their own education and development. In fact they are anxious to learn more about life as they experience it. They will need guides along the way until they can manage it themselves. But telling them facts does not make those facts real to them. They have to deal with them. They have to relate to them to make them real, to have functional value.

Three of the four kids Friday night shared real experiences with the group. Time flew. The hour was over in a few minutes.

The second message – avoidance of pain or discomfort – was a lesson hinted at but not much discussed. They got the message, though. I could see it in their faces. Whether they will remember it the next time they are tempted to solve an immediate problem by smoking weed, drinking a bunch of booze or taking other drugs, I don’t know. I can only hope they will think about it and not take the escape route.

Feeling no pain for a moment or a few hours does not solve the underlying problem. It only prolongs it and makes it grow to larger dimensions. It makes it much more painful to deal with later on. That’s one of life’s painful lessons. Will they grasp it and use it?

Only time will tell. Hopefully an understanding ‘other’ will be nearby to help them.

June 3, 2013