Ho Hum!

There is a story I have to tell. It involves contacts of daily frequency. Friends, colleagues, associates. People just like you and I, plodding along doing ‘things’ and getting good things accomplished. At least we think so.

How we do things and yet get along with each other is part of the story. Drama is normally not a part of the story although there is plenty of drama; just not the kind that sells tickets in theaters or sells novels and grand author signings. No, these are dramas of everyday life.

What is drama? Besides the definition that is almost exclusively related to literature – poetry, novel plots, story lines, plays – having much to do with life conflicts and emotions, I’m using the term differently. Drama to me is the excitement life offers as it unfolds. Excitement of life and birth, deaths of significant others, completing a college degree or graduating from high school, getting a first job, or gaining a major career promotion…these are the sort of things I’m referring to.

War and peace may be a theme, after all the world is almost always in a state of unrest somewhere, but our young entering military service, their challenges during that service, and yes oftentimes their serious injury or death, or absolutely coming home unscathed. Each offers moments of fear and joy and surprise.

That’s the drama I mean here.

The passage of time in an ordinary life is cause for drama for most of us. Celebrating successive birthdays and entry to different life phases presents excitement. Approaching high school days, going on the first date, heck, just contemplating the first date and what we will do and how we will get to know each other. The entire saga of puberty is unique for each of us. How we come to terms with the sexual mystery in each of us is a story line filled with drama. Angst, the old German meaning of the word, and its pronunciation! Fear and trembling of the unknown but looming. What will it bring to my life? To yours?

Approaching marriage or committed relationship with a significant other is a prime drama for each of us. And first pregnancy, birth of children, raising those kids through thick and thin, good health and bad…those life stories provide much drama. And then those kids go off to lead their own lives through schools, relationships, marriages and births of their own kids – your grand kids! – along with the entire saga of empty nest syndrome, pre retirement planning, actual retirement, first hints of old age and its health challenges.

We each go through these phases of life. They are the stuff life is made of. How we handle it. How we let others into our lives at those times. And how we reciprocate in their lives, too. All part of living in one larger community of life. Experiencing the challenges and joys. Oh so many challenges and obstacles. Oh so few joys. Or is that even true?

I suppose we are observers of others as well. Watching others engaged in their life stories taught us much about our own struggles in turn. When we were most in doubt we watched more closely! Even asked questions of friends and trusted relatives. Remember those times? We were trying to find a comfort zone in which to live normally.

One day we awake to the certain knowledge that others are watching us, too. What kind of role model am I, have I been? Oops! Did they see me in each of my low spots, too? When my role model powers were not so good? Or did they catch me on the good side?

Of course no one knows for sure. Life is there. Sometimes just there. Soft and comfortable. Rough and tumble with sharp edges. Expected and not, life’s moments happen and move us forward to tomorrow.

Like any good story, I wonder how it will turn out?

July 31, 2013

Need or Want?

There’s an organization named American Voice of Reason.  One of their quotes goes like this:

            “We don’t need big government and we don’t need small government.

             We need effective government that works for all people.”

I agree with this simple statement. Not sure it is simple after analysis, but it may help others understand the premise of the statement if first we agree that government is a necessity. It is not luxury. Nor is it meant to be all-consuming. Government ought not be the objective of any society working together whether nation or state.

Government should be a public utility that makes a society safe, productive and sustainable. The society should be safe, productive and sustainable, not the government. Let’s be clear about that.

A public utility? Sure. Military defense systems. Police services. Fire prevention and safety. Judicial process that ensures that laws are properly written and implemented – adjudicated if you will. Education services which allow each person to live a life of fulfillment based on their own talents and interests – not the rote training of employers or government forces. Education – the unfolding and unfurling of the inner person and his/her innate promise.

There are countless services best reserved to government roles: land use standards and economic development; food safety; drug/medicinal safety; health services and standards; professional standards and certification; water standards and adequate supply; sewer and sanitary systems and standards; public transportation in the broadest of senses including air, rail, shipping and highway networks. The list goes on.

On a national basis there are global relations, and diplomatic services. Then, too, we must include here international science research, cooperation and education. Space probes and collaborative approaches to sustainability of mankind itself. These are proper interests of government.

Within government there are careers with long term fascination and interest. In and of itself these careers are not a bad thing; they only become so if their focus becomes self serving rather than citizen serving or society serving.

The sticking point regarding ‘government’ appears to be policy determination and decision making. What laws we get, who they apply to, how we apportion resources to public issues and their management, those are the stumbling blocks of government. Oh, I suppose there is the issue of careerists or bureaucrats, too; these are the people who are committed to keeping themselves employed in government service; for their own gain, not that of the public.

Policy determination is caught up in the ‘political process’, the means by which people allow decisions to be made on their behalf using the resources they have shared with the society or government (read taxes!). Somewhere along this journey we run into wants and ideology. Philosophy. Values. Theology, even! We get this all mixed up with the usual operations of government. So mixed up with this that diversion and derailment often occur.

Wants. Now that’s another dimension to be explored. Government should not be about human wants; just needs. Where that boundary is situated at any given time is a complicated point needing to be made.

I am not anti-government. I am a supporter of order against chaos, but free thinking and free markets are important elements of mankind striving to learn the most and create the best. Learning and creating are necessary, exhilarating, processes. They are core activities of mankind. Each person seeks a calling unique to their interests and talents. It is not the role of government to produce ‘callings’ for people but rather nurture people who can follow their own yearning to ends that make sense for them.

I don’t know where this came from on the internet but this quote seems to fit here:

“The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends, red lights called enemies, caution lights called family. You will have flat tires called jobs, but if you have a spare called determination, an engine called perseverance, a driver called will power, you will make it to a place called  Success.”

Each of us is individually making our way through life. The quote labels many components of that journey we will encounter. Multiply that struggle by the population of the land, or state, or region, and the complexity gains weight. What is personal, career, need and/or want? Now include this matrix to what a nation says it wants for its people and the discussion becomes enormously complex!

Somewhere along the line there is a more simple truth. The problem is finding it. As Karen Moning reminds us:

“The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something our hearts know is a lie.”

Perhaps that is the well head of the complexity? Too many of us accepting ‘truths’ that do not resonate with the simplicity we need?

I need to think more on that.

July, 30, 2013

Lessons

Hot stove, burned fingers. Shove lawnmower with foot, slashed toes from whirling blade. Smile from stranger yields smile from me. Something done in anger often leads to mistakes that cost me shame, broken treasure or injury.

Lessons. Little ones and big. Simple and direct. Some subtle. Most evident but ignored.

Is the glass half full or half empty? The age old question that really is a friend to us. A small reminder that things are often better than we think. Same for gleaning cues for lessons beckoning our attention.

As the monkey said to Simba the Lion King:

“Ah yes the past can hurt but the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.”

At least we have a reminder of hurt that we notice. Whether we process that for good or ill is up to us. First we have noticed it, the hurt, so next we think about it; what does it mean? How can I use this information? Is there another meaning that holds danger? Or can I act with confidence on the information?

Processing the information in this manner provides for positive results. A wise man once said:

“Don’t worry about the things in life you have no control over. Instead focus your energy on the things you can change. Being positive and confident keeps us looking forward instead of looking backwards.”

Looking forward, being positive, living and learning from life’s experiences. Simba would do well!

These experiences accumulate to become our life story, our biography. Some experiences are handed to us by happenstance; others are provided by those who love us; still others are supplied by a generous nurturing society that wants us to succeed, for all of our benefit!

I found this quote on the internet the other day. It fits well here:

“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. Period.”

Life is what we each make of it. We know that. Sure there are roadblocks obstructing our progress from time to time. Even those, however, are easily navigated by a positive outlook and a clear vision of where we want to go. Whether a person or a family or an employer or a nation, a clear idea of who we are and where we want to go is a sufficient road map to build a good life. The important part is making it so. We have to think about who we are so we understand the real ‘us’. And we have to do the hard work of thinking about what we want to become, or at least where we and our career, or family or company or nation want to be in the future. It takes work to think about these things. It takes work to make good things happen. But the outcomes are more easily attainable if we put our mind and will to it.

Another wise person shared this anonymous thought:

“No person has the right to condemn you on how you repair your heart or how you choose to grieve, because no one knows how much you’re hurting. Recovering takes time and everyone heals at their own pace.”

They don’t have to do the work. You do. It is a deeply personal thing. Like Simba, the hurts from the past do not define us; our hope and lessons learned and applied do define us. Where do you go from here?

Where do we all?  Indeed!

July 29, 2013

Thought for the Day

Just a little one. From Kurt Vonnegut. In a work entitled A Man Without a Country, he said:

“For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course, that’s Moses, not Jesus. I haven’t heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere. ‘Blessed are the merciful’ in a courtroom? ‘Blessed are the peacemakers’ in the Pentagon? Give me a break!”

Not so little after all!  Think on this thought over the weekend.  And enjoy the summer’s grace.

July 26, 2013

What's the Gripe?

An entire blog could be written on gripes – mine, yours, theirs – oh heck! There are already blogs covering the same thing. In fact that’s probably the origin of blogs in the first place. Someone has something to say and they sit down and write it, then shop where to print it. Maybe it’s a letter to the editor of a local newspaper, or a regional newspaper; perhaps it’s a letter to a group of friends. Or maybe it’s just an email or Facebook posting that gets spread beyond the immediate neighborhood.

Blogs are just a larger ocean of senders and receivers. Hundreds of millions of writers and readers, daily or weekly. The idea is to spread an idea. Once an idea is in the mind, attention shifts to articulating it and then writing about it and ‘publishing’ it for broader readership.

Ideas. Which ones? How to organize them? What will be their focus? Who would be interested in these ideas? Who ought to be interested but may not be? Who are we trying to reach – indeed, what are we trying to accomplish with this activity?

The purpose of a blog, I think, is to explore an idea from wherever it comes and make meaningful clarifications of and to the idea. Explore also includes research, experience first hand, and otherwise become well versed in the idea and its logical extensions.

Once done the idea’s value to mankind is anyone’s guess. It all depends on who reads it, how they react, or if they react at all. Like a YouTube sensation it may take off getting thousands of hits or even millions. The latter is rare.

What kind of traction the idea has in American thought and discussion depends on how broadly dispersed it becomes. Also whether there are identifying words or phrases that distinguish it from common public chatter.

But we started with gripes – complaints about something that many people probably share similar feelings about. There are so many to choose from! Yet writing about gripes simply doesn't help matters much.

Sure it alleviates pressure for the writer, and maybe some of the readers feel better knowing there are other people who feel the same about something. The trouble is the griping alone doesn't accomplish much.

We had a busy day at church last Sunday, came home, had our usual Sunday breakfast, then a nap. Instead of arising and doing something useful we turned on the TV and fell into a string of programs on PBS. Bill Moyers was finishing up a segment, Meet the Press came on another channel, then Charlie Rose.

The thing that gripped us (not griped!) was the intelligent discussion held one on one. The ideas were presented, good questions pulled out excellent points to consider, and solid explanations were provided. No hysterics. Just facts and feelings that matter. Rich discourse that accessed meaningful points of the subject matter. Not argument or sound bite stratagems.

So much of what we encounter on public airwaves is bombast and obfuscation. They are trying to win converts or power, not advocates. To advocate for anything a person has to understand the subject very well. If they don’t the spiel is nothing more than a sales blast hoping to persuade thin support, enough to gain a user or proponent for a moment or two. That’s all. Later the argument and logic falls apart.

Meanwhile the damage is done.

It is time we spent our time with better prepared people who know their subject matter. PBS programs is an excellent start!  Tune them in and see for yourself.

July 26, 2013

Building Bridges

I have often wondered how to bridge the divide between the straight and gay worlds. When people talk about this subject emotions tend to take over. Curiosity comes later when comfort builds. Then laughter. Surprising to some but natural to others. At my age it may seem odd that I would want to engage people with this topic. To me it is not odd; rather it is logical and natural.

For 20 years I have lived an ‘out’ life. A generation of people who wanted to observe my life (assuming anyone would want to do that!) would see the tiny pieces of ordinariness fill the days and weeks and years. The same interests and needs pertain to gay people as they do for straight. Housing comes to mind. Food and water is perhaps more important than housing but high on the scale of need nonetheless. Of course worthwhile employment is another need. A sense of purpose to one’s life is a very strong need. So is clothing, and identifying personal interests which occupy the mind.

Expressing one’s sexuality is also a need; not a want. It is an inner urging that comes naturally for each of us. But the practices are different. The behavior. The expression.

The differentness between gay and straight begins at this point, I guess. To the extent that the acts/behavior/practices are different from the two, awareness of the differences beg defining what they are, how different they are, the how and the why, and finally the big question: Is this normal?

Well I suppose the answer depends on who is answering. What is normal to one person is not normal to the other and vice versa. DUH! You say? Well, yes. It may be just that simple.

The trick is to proceed down the path. Logically people’s minds need clarity. Finding it comes by way of a process. Uncovering ideas, facts and beliefs emerges over time and exposure to thinking on the subject matter. Ideas, facts and beliefs change over time as the mind sorts things out, becomes comfortable with various elements. Normal shifts in meaning as well as importance. The pylons of the bridge are beginning to take shape.

I don’t wish this blog posting to be an explanation of What is Gay, or What it means to be Gay in 2013. What I do propose is a clearing house or hub of questions and answers that interested people may have on this subject. So, here’s the deal:

1. If you are interested in understanding gay matters, check in with a gay person from time to time; or contact me at this blog
2. Pose the questions you were burning to ask; do so with complete anonymity and safety
3. Answers will be posted by those who feel they know the answer
4. Read those answers and pose questions you feel are needed to clarify the answers
5. Allow discussion and diverse opinions to coexist.

I promise to mediate the discussion and to add my questions and answers as they may be needed. I will pose research questions to research groups and seek proper answers to share with you. I will also invite input from a broad range of people.

Rest assured there will be biblical ‘experts’ who will probably hold forth; you will have to wallow through those pronouncements like I have done for decades. They are survivable. You will have to search through all the material shared here to find the truth, or what makes sense to you at any given time. I assure you that truth will change over time with added information that fits with the ongoing exchanges.

I will assume that no sharing means no interest. If that is so, so be it.

If you feel the same and are curious, please share this blog posting with others so the questions, answers and discussion will spring forth!

July 25, 2013

Random Thoughts

Today I want to focus attention on a few random thoughts. I found these on the internet in various places. If the author is known proper citation is shown. If not it was given anonymously.

1. “Marriage is not about religion. Atheists marry.

 Marriage is not about procreation. The infertile marry.

 Marriage is not about finance. It can weave poverty.

 Marriage is about love. That’s it.

 And that’s beautiful.”

2. “Last year the fossil fuels industry cut 3875 jobs. Solar created 14,000. The

        future is bright.”

3. “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” ~C.S. Lewis

4. “It’s better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you’re not.” ~Kurt Cobain

5. “Never play with the feelings of others because you may win the game but the 

        risk is that you will surely lose the person for a life time.” ~William Shakespeare

6. “I am thankful to all those who said NO to me. It’s because of them I did it myself.”  ~Albert Einstein

7. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

8. “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”  ~Mother Teresa

Think on each of these thoughts. And find peace.

July 24, 2013

Festering Group Problem

Continuing on from yesterday’s blog I want to focus on a group problem, one that is festering. Such usually are grounded in personal issues among individuals in the group. Perhaps it is an actual slight or an imagined one. More likely it is a slight unintended but felt none the same. Accidents of wording make it sound intended even when it wasn't. This issue, however, is not with the deliverer of the slight; it belongs instead to the recipient.

No matter apologies given or explanation of the circumstances, the recipient is in control of how he feels about it. He or she may be in a sensitive spot personally and will likely react no matter how the remark was intended. They are vulnerable and feeling badly already. This just adds to the mix.

The real challenge is how the group handles the matter. If they put their collective heads in the sand then nothing much good happens. If they face the issue head on and talk it out chances are good that no lasting damage will develop. Even then the ‘intervention’ may not work if the person feeling hurt is not ready for the interaction.

What to do? Here are some suggestions:

1. Take a time out; let feelings settle and cool.
2. Create a journal of each person’s feelings surrounding the issue at hand.

                                                              i.      Have each person first identify what they think the issue is that started the hurt

                                                            ii.      Each person writes simple statements of what they felt about the issue identified and why they feel the way they do about it

                                                          iii.      Any comments not dealing with the issue directly are edited out by group consensus

                                                          iv.      Discuss the feelings of each person per the assignment in a room neutral to the group’s work

3. Set another time out to let feelings settle and cool
4. Meet again in a neutral site to discuss each person’s conclusions based on the writings, reaction writings, and discussion. Also:

                                                              i.      Take a reading of the group’s feeling about the issue now; is there consensus? Is there anyone bummed out by the consensus? Remember, consensus is not 100% agreement, but general agreement on the issue so that the group can go forward without hurt feelings and muddled understanding of the issues.

                                                            ii.      Identify how the consensus can now be used to move forward:

1.      What decisions need to be made?

2.      What tasks need to be accomplished?

3.      What apologies or peace making actions need to be offered? And by whom?

Some group members will not want to do any of the above. They may harbor a resentment that blocks honest evaluation of the situation. Honest humility of the participants may not be universally present by group members.

Some individuals don’t want to follow anyone’s idea in settling the problem. They wish to define the solution. If so the problem will most likely continue.

There is a caution to be observed: All group members need to understand that the group may not survive the problem. Solutions require honesty, humility and a sense of compromise. If these are not possible, trust and interdependence may have been destroyed. All members need to understand this going into the process. Not to address the problem or not to compromise must lead to the demise of the group. It is a simple conclusion. Sad but true.

Knowing this possible outcome each person needs to be willing to make sacrifices in order to safeguard the group’s forward momentum and healthy operation.

July 23, 2013

Wondering About the Future

This topic is near and dear to my heart. I've been a practicing consultant in strategic planning for 22 years and now retired. Mostly my market had been in the non-profit sector. This means dealing with organizations with volunteer boards. For those of you unfamiliar with this form of entity, it means the board is unpaid and works based on their commitment to the mission and long term vision of the organization. Some do it for ego; but they soon learn the other side of the board culture and drop the ego!

So, the near and dear topic is the future – imagining it, making it happen and dreaming the big dream that benefits an organization or issue. This may involve a major social issue or political objective, but normally it involves a group working towards a public good in a community. Think home owners association, or church board of trustees. Perhaps you belong to a local charity and support its struggle to succeed and grow so it can do more good work within the community.

Much of my experience has been focused on credit unions – non-profit, member owned financial cooperatives. There is a long history of 85 years or so in America associated with credit unions. When depressions struck credit unions formed to help the down and out or the laborer class struggling to make ends meet. Often they were the only financial institution who helped people of lesser means; banks chose the safe route and left the down and outers to charities, churches and credit unions.

Today credit unions are still small for the most part but serve a much more sophisticated market. Technology has allowed them to compete with banks in fees, interest rates paid and charged, as well as products and services that previously credit unions simply could not provide. Today they do.

Behind it all, however, is a volunteer board working to provide low cost financial services to all members.  Access to these services will build a stronger middle class with wealth to also support the well being of the American economy. Policy and procedural operations are the task of the board, guiding and nurturing staff for the long-term health of the entity. Those tasks provide ample opportunity for disagreement and philosophy among the volunteers. Planning and group decision making need healthy approaches if the organization is to remain strong and effective.

Communication is a key component of planning and management issues. Healthy communications are nearly impossible if group members have built resentments and animosity among each other. The personal dimension has probably killed more organizations than all other factors combined. Some people become so entrenched in their frustration and anger that they simply cannot understand the other group members and ascribe negative motivations to them.

An apt quotation found on the internet the other day is this:

“Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.”

                                                                        -Author Unknown

I don’t agree with the ‘never’ part but the quote has validity. The group would do well to focus instead on their shared long-term dream of the organization and what it hopes to accomplish. Reality will shape those hopes and dreams. Resources of time, talent, people and money will always figure into what actually gets accomplished over time.

But a group can do a lot of positive work toward mending personal fences just by focusing on the tasks to be done.

Jane Goodall cautions us, however, with this admonition:

            “The greatest danger to our future is apathy.”

Although her concerns were on our shared environment and ecology, apathy will damage a group’s ability to repair feelings and disagreements. They will fester toward dissolution of the group itself.

More on this tomorrow as I struggle to cope with a festering group problem. Wish me luck!

July 22, 2013

Thought for the Day

Behavior versus Beliefs

A simple exercise today. What makes you a better person? Your beliefs or your behavior?

Beliefs are the underpinning of much of who we think we are. What we value, how we relate to others near us, and the world at large as well. But does this really make us better people?

Behavior, on the other hand, is our bearing and posture in the company of others. Or even alone, how do we act? Are we generous, respectful of nature and personal property? Do we consume what we need without waste? Do we build a home without impinging on the space of others? How do we behave in the world?

Thinking is one dimension of life. Acting is another. Which makes us a better person?

July 20, 2013

Taking Food from a Baby

I am often befuddled by the confusion some people have over the interdependence we have with each other. We live among many people and need to get along with them. This is practical. It is also fortuitous!

The latter point recognizes the many positive attributes of living in community. We share educating all of our kids, we pool resources to provide libraries, parks, streets, curbs, gutters, storm water management and fire and police protection. We pay taxes toward many of those attributes to make them happen. Needed and valuable. Good things all.

That’s the local focus. There is also the local regional focus that constitutes towns living constructively side by side and within the county governance structure as well. Then the state government has pooled resources we all pay for and benefit from. Same with the federal government.

National governance, however, is far removed from our dinner tables. Its footprint looms large in our lives, however. Much of the safety and protection standards guarding food quality, air, water and soil safety and conservation, are defined by federal authorities. So too are education standards. Criminal justice procedures, support systems and court mechanics are all provided for by federal standards and authority. So too national defense and international relations. This gives us entrée to the world community.

Being removed from us, however, is not the sole point to make. People, elected or career bureaucrats, are making decisions in our name – Of the People – and we do have a responsibility for their decisions – By the People. Need we say that everything done by each of the governments associated with us is doing what is needed by us – For the People?

Look at it this way. President Dwight D. Eisenhower made this statement:

“Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.”

There is a logic we need to support: all things come from each of us for all of us; yet there are limits.  Lest we think too narrowly, just because I don’t need a specific service doesn't mean my neighbor or family members don’t. Each of the services provided by government is a necessary one. Some are in need of better management or updated mission and vision statements, however!

But the primary needs remain and we should not be stingy about that. Rejoice that we don’t need each and every program personally; but also rejoice that those less fortunate than we have a place to which to turn.

Churches and charities do fabulous work. But they too have limits. Governments are needed to handle the larger issues and tasks. I do not mistrust government. I do not deny services to those in need. I do want the cost to be fairly shared and valued by all. And I personally need the tax bills to be affordable! They haven’t always been.

As I enter my twilight years I have more need and fewer resources. Please go gentle on my checkbook!

July 19, 2013

To Move or...

We are contemplating a move. Our home is worth less than the mortgage and we can no longer afford the mortgage and tax escrow payments. Coupled with HOA fees and utilities and maintenance, it costs $1500 or more to live in this home. On fixed incomes of social security that is too much. Over 50% of our monthly income. So…..

The house has been on the market as a short sale property since mid-September 2012. We've had maybe 10 or 12 showings in that time and not one offer. The home is in foreclosure proceedings; it is only a matter of time before we are removed and sent packing. We've been hoping that a sale would make our leave taking smoother, more constructive than a stark foreclosure.  We are beginning to believe that will not be.

So we are seeking a new home. Local is our first choice because I’m elected to the local park board of commissioners, a board member of the local three-town Chamber of Commerce, and the co-founder and Managing Editor of the local newspaper. We are active in our church and have a lot of friends here. We don’t want to leave.

But this is DuPage County and it is the highest taxed real estate in Illinois by county. Property values are higher here than in most other counties as well. So from an affordability view point we are probably going to be forced into moving. There are very few homes on the market under $100,000 and property taxes less than $3200. Most of those have HOA fees of nearly $300 per month as well.

So we have looked in Sandwich, Illinois; and Oregon, Illinois, too. Although both are removed from family and friends – and doctors! – we can ‘see’ ourselves settling into both communities. Sandwich involves a manufactured-home community (that’s double wide trailers to most of you!), while Oregon offers a home in the very center of the town one block off Main Street, almost on the public square! From that home we can walk to everything – park district, library, county court house, stores, church, downtown shopping – you name it is within walking distance.

For Rocky there is a very old artist colony dating from 1898 founded by sculptor Laredo Taft, also within walking distance. The mighty Rock River flows past just 3 blocks away. Mature stands of trees are everywhere along with the glacier carved hills and river bluffs.

The house in Oregon is priced at $92,500 and has what we need including a large garage for the car AND Rocky’s studio. Taxes are $2400 or less. No HOA fees. Lower utilities, too.

The call to a new community is there. We consider it with some reluctance because of 19 years in our current home, and 23 years more in the same county – 42 years in all! Leaving all of that behind is not done easily.

But we are going toward what? For us it is a blank slate but one we will manage with our life skills accumulated over a long time. We see things much more clearly now and we have an image or vision of what is ahead. It is good. It is simpler. It is easier to deal with.

Making it be good is up to us, not the new community. What do we bring to their table? What can we contribute to add to the public good? Anything? Something? Only time will tell. But first we have decisions to make.

Not one of them will be easy.

July 18, 2013

Struggles to do Right

I don’t know who she is – Lynda Field – but she shared this thought that made it to the internet some days ago:

            “No person and no thing has any power over you

unless you give them that power.”

That includes anger. I've been told many times letting someone else make you angry is like renting out space in your brain for no rent! Same with resentments, those hideous negative feelings about a circumstance or person you feel unable to change or control.

Letting go of the anger and resentment will free you from unnecessary grief and upset!  Try it. The problem remains – for someone to care about and do something about. But you don’t have to do it. This duty needs group participation.

An age-old prayer long known as the Serenity Prayer goes like this:

            “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

             The courage to change the things I can, and

             The wisdom to know the difference.”

For just a moment it may seem humorous but then the acute wisdom becomes evident.  Much in life I cannot change or control. So accept it for what it is. Deal with it. On the other hand I can accomplish more than I think and all I need is the courage to try and make a difference. That does make a difference in my life and those I have touched in a positive manner. Knowing what I can change and what I cannot takes careful thought and discernment. If I can’t tell which is which I must place it in the first category.

The serenity, you see, frees the spirit to handle a multitude of aches and pains. It gives freedom to experience life more fully. Along the way we also learn better methods for coping with burdens and we learn how good life is when we let it. And simple!

Gaining this level of personal insight is important. It helps follow the advice of Nelson Mandela, who said:

            “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

Do make those choices. Take courage in hand and do what you can for others, self and family. You will be on the path of serenity as well as keeping negative people out of your head.

July 17, 2013

Cold Wind Alone

Riding a bus through Middle America during college days. Those were long trips from upstate New York to central Illinois. And any visit to relatives in the Midwest usually involved a bus ride too, maybe to Chicago, or Des Moines.

Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois, was served by two major rail lines so buses were not entirely required; they were cheaper, however.

Still, sitting in a worn bus seat and peering out at the passing world sets a stage of remembering. The cold bare landscape of winter. Crops long harvested and fields now gray and stubbly if not snow covered. As far as the eye could see a horizon wide vista of Midwestern soil asleep for the winter.

No people visible except in the small towns. Trees leafless, barren. A time alone. The bus rumbles through these landscapes relentlessly but on route and mostly on schedule. 20 or more strangers sit in their aloneness, too. Older ladies often told me their stories – sons and daughters who now were captains of industry and doing quite well! But she chose to remain close to her roots while the rest of the nation moves on to the future. “Just don’t leave your folks, sonny.” Those conversations were mostly the same. The women talked; men didn't. Young riders were much like me, college kids traveling cheap. Studying, thinking, solitary.

Wondering where and when my future would happen I stared at the landscapes building images of what I wanted to do in life. How to use my college education. Who I would meet. How I would spend my time. All I really knew for sure was I didn't want to live my life alone.

Robin Williams said this once:

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

Did I end up all alone? No. Am I with people who make me feel alone? No.

Rather two things. It isn't over yet; there is no ‘end’ yet. There is still time. More importantly, there is life all around, people all around, and things to do all around.

I do not feel alone. My fear did not occur. But still you know there are people everywhere with this same fear – even worse, they are indeed alone because the people around them have let them down. Chilling I think.

Then again, did people let these folks down or did the individual let himself and others down. What choices did he make? What challenges were avoided to keep peace, the peace that wound up being the soulless whistle of an empty plain in winter viewed from a rumbling old bus?

July 16, 2013

Of, For and By the People

Bernie Sanders, Senator (I) of Vermont, shares this thought with us:

“We all remember Abraham Lincoln’s wonderful remarks at Gettysburg in which he describes America as a country ‘of the people, by the people and for the people.’ Well, with the Citizens United Supreme Court decision we are rapidly becoming a nation of the very rich, by the very rich and for the very rich. And that is a horrendous tragedy. This is not the America that men and women throughout our history fought and died to defend.”

I don’t mind rich people and their corporations and organizations being heard. I just don’t want them to buy my government and run it for their good and not the nation’s good. A corporation is not a person; it is made up of people – owners, managers, workers, suppliers, et.al. – individually they each have a voice in the running of our nation. Through the usual channels.

The practical implication of the Supreme Court’s ruling, however, is to allow wealthy organizations and companies bank roll what the owners and managers want heard by congress and state legislatures. Thus laws are promulgated and enacted because the legislators are bought and paid for. They enact what they are paid to enact. They get away with it because they are re-elected with the dollars paid by sponsors of the legislation.

How is this any different from the selling of indulgences by the Roman Catholic Church up to and including the 1500’s? That watershed moment sparked the Reformation and beginning of Protestantism.

Where is the outcry from the public that will reform today’s public governance from ‘pay to play’ to true representation of the electorate? When will the modern day reformation begin?

I believe the Supreme Court was dead wrong in its decision. The practical effects far outweigh the ‘purity of legal thought’ they used to arrive at their decision.

What to do? Here are a few options to consider:

First, amend the US Constitution clearly stating that organizations are not citizens in the sense that people are. Disenfranchise organizations from the power to vote, contribute to election campaigns or any other activity that pits their interests against the interests of individual citizens.

Second, reform election finance laws to eliminate all contributions from private parties whether individual or organizational; instead provide federal dollars to fund all federal elections by formula: $1 million for each senate candidate standing for election; $250,000 for each candidate for a congressional House seat, and so on. For state elections, the same idea applies – each state pays for the house and senate seat elections in their state legislatures; and for each election conforming with state offices provided for in their individual constitutions.  Public interest ads for political purposes are not permitted. Public issue ads can only be disseminated over public airwaves if full sponsorship is made evident in each presentation – who and what paid for the message and contact information to respond to them on the issue.

Third, to make this more manageable, cut the US Senate to one senator per state and reduce the size of the US House to 2 representatives per state or territory. This option reduces the Congress to 150 to 165 people, still a too-large board of directors for the nation, but much more practical than one numbering 535 persons.

The credibility of our nation as well as its ability to be fair and just require these steps to be enacted; or ones that accomplish similar ends.

Of, for and by the people has always been a lofty ideal. Maybe eventually we can ensure its reality!

July 15, 2013

Thought for the Day

Church and State

I've written on separation of Church and State before. Several times in fact. But today I share this ‘did you know’ factoid:

John Quincy Adams was sworn in using a book of laws instead of the Bible because he wanted to maintain the separation of church and state.”

Bravo! Think about that.

Separating church and state matters is not hard to do. Evidently it takes courage that most public officials don’t have. 

Keeping church and state separated does not mean you or I are not religious. It does not mean we are disrespectful to either.

It just means that they are best lived apart and that we discipline our minds and hearts accordingly.  Else we get the horror of the witch hunts, The Crusades, or terrorism in the name of Allah!

Care must be taken. Thoughtfulness, too.

July 13, 2013

Ego and Serving Others

I interact with a lot of people who have problems. Admittedly they have problems; they tell me so. I too admit my frailties. Lack of perfection is often viewed by self and others as a burden. And at times it certainly is.

A burden at times yes; but also a gift.

When a person admits a problem they begin to face it. The process of facing personal problems teaches much about the self. Unfurling the inner core helps me understand me. That leads to discovery about self as well as others. I’m not the only one with problems. I work with my problems in one way and surely others do so similarly. Uncovering that truth bares interpersonal mechanics, which in turn allows us to understand a host of ways people live in the world and treat other people. 

If we can understand that we can accomplish much with and through others. Not through manipulation, but creative solutions based on human nature.

Simply put: the best way to find yourself is lose yourself in service to others.

Serving others requires loss of ego. Not worrying about your own needs allows you to care for another person. This is an essential lesson to learn in life. I wonder how and when most people learn this lesson? I think too late in life.

Usually we protect our personal space – either literal or emotional – by building ‘walls’ around our ideas. We shield them from view lest they draw criticism. Sometimes our ideas are too new or unproven to survive criticism, yet that’s what they need to grow strong. Best we are corrected early on than allowed to think wrongly and build on those ideas to a certain embarrassment when they fall into shambles!

Ralph Waldo Emerson had this to say about that:

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”

The contradiction is a test, a criticism. Discussing it creates learning for both views. Broadening understanding comes from such discussion. It leads to strengthening core ideas and the process of thinking. It helps participants in the discussion understand each other better as well as the ideas.

We all grow from this discipline. We ought to welcome it in our lives. It builds bridges with other people and other ideas. And the richness of life becomes apparent, fun and exciting.

Ego gets in the way of knowing and understanding others. Problems examined uncovers the strength to both know the self as well as others. That is socialization, bringing people together in authentic and workable ways. A good thing.

Yes. A good thing. Strong enough to build community!

July 12, 2013

Adding to Yesterday's Post

OK, go back to yesterday’s blog. Re-read it. It’s on parasites, remember? And just who is the parasite these days?

Well, that thinking – the process that leads some people to bemoan how they are treated as a risk taker – demonstrates the following piece found on the internet the other day.

From www.savourpostoffice.us comes this complex but true run of statements:

            Ten Facts About The Postal Service

1.      The postal service employs 130,000 veterans. They also employ 49,000 disabled veterans

2.      It is the single largest business with a union workforce

3.      Receives no money from taxes (which cannot be said of large oil companies and corporations that outsource jobs to foreign countries)

4.      The postal service is established in the constitution before the army, navy, the roads and the right to declare war

5.      it is the second largest employer behind Walmart

6.      The post office is the spark plug to the mailing industry

7.      The mailing industry is a $1 trillion industry

8.      The mailing industry employs 8 million workers.

9.      The mailing industry is 9% of the Gross National Product.

10.  Is required by Congress to prepay retirement costs for employees who haven’t been born yet!”

This quote covers a lot of ground. It demonstrates how Congress gets mixed up in business matters and really messes them up! It also shows how a once proud government service has been mistakenly made into a for profit business model when such is nearly impossible given the job requirements placed on it by the government and its society.

The Postal Service is a huge piece of infrastructure of our nation. Yet we treat it as a drag on our national purpose, industry, and tax expense. And this doesn't even cover the idiocy of prepaying retirement costs. Congress does not do that for its own pension plan!

Come to think of it, Congress reserves their own privileges far away and above the rest of us.

Who’s the parasite now?

July 11, 2013 

Entrepreneurialism

An entrepreneur makes something out of very little. Sometimes as little as an idea. Of course the idea needs to be paired up with other resources – time, effort, space – each of which is worth something but might not need the expenditure of money. Ah!  Well there you have the magic word. Money!

Yes, pairing ideas and money is usually essential to building a new business. Entrepreneurs do that. They create businesses seemingly out of nothing although it helps to have some cash around to make supportive things happen. You know, get the idea off the ground.

Couple this activity with use of public assets – infrastructure that others have put in place – and you can have a winning proposition.

We need entrepreneurs. All of us. These folks are creative. They identify needs among us and try to fill those needs. All the while making some income for themselves, a payback on their inventiveness, risk taking, etc. If they are really successful, their new business hires people to do their work and grow the enterprise. If that is successful the business will create more opportunities for employment, investment, and wealth creation as well. And on top of that, taxes. They pay taxes on their real estate, property, profits, excise and other use taxes. In short they help to pay back the investment of all of us in the infrastructure we provided them way back at their beginning.

I wish this stayed nice. And tidy. But too often it doesn't.  Let’s take this business model a little further.

The business grows into a corporation. As income grows so do expenses. Net profit becomes a little more complicated. Margins are calculated. Tax options are considered. Labor costs are weighed against technology investments and mechanization. Wage rates and salaries are debated. Benefits are analyzed. Where to control margins? When to make tough decisions to keep the business financially healthy?

Tax cutting strategies are explored. So too are means of stretching property expense dollars; rent or buy? Build and re-let? Conglomerate real estate investment designed to hide costs and cover taxes? Well let’s give that a try.

And investments. Where do we park our extra cash while earning money on it and yet not paying taxes on that? What other strategies can we try to gain marginal profits?

Maybe we should diversify our holdings and buy into other industries. Could we share their overhead structures with ours? Could we squeeze more utility of each other’s existing cost basis? Maybe we can find more profit dollars that are hidden from the tax collector?

Even a better idea. Place some of our business enterprise in a foreign land. Use their investment incentives to eliminate some costs or boost our profit. Hey, their labor costs are less than ours at home! And no unions! And look! Their employee benefits are partially provided by their national government at no cost to us!  Wow. Look at the margins grow.

What do we do with the profits at the foreign operations? Keep them there. If we bring them back home we pay Uncle Sam, and our state government, too. Well to hell with that!

Jason Read gives us this thought to think about:

“People who dismiss the unemployed and dependent as ‘parasites’ fail to understand economics and parasitism. A successful parasite is one that is not recognized by its host, one that can make its host work for it without appearing as a burden.  Such is the ruling class in a capitalist society.”

Sobering isn’t it? Kind of sneaks up on you.  Who’s the parasite now?

We need each other. We rely on each other. Investors. Entrepreneurs. Risk takers. Idea people. Educators. Technical geeks. Math nerds. Mothers and babies. Fathers and sports people. Male and female. Straight and Gay. Democrats and Republicans. Dumb and smart.

We also need to work together. And trust each other. That takes hard work and deep faith. Leaps of faith. In each other.

Rather than complain and groan, try smiling and a welcoming handshake.

Now let’s all get to work.

July 10, 2013

On Being Busy

I was struck the other day by a thought: why are people so busy but not accomplishing much? I let this brew for days but kept coming back to it.  I’m not sure I have fully thought this through yet, but I have come up with these conclusions. So far…

Some people are good thinkers and workers. They are doers. There comes a point though when they seem perturbed by the thinking, apparently shut it down and go on being busy. Hands are occupied. Body is in motion. Often the car is taken on a few of many errands. Chores are assembled and checked off the list one by one. It almost seems these persons are avoiding something, perhaps thinking to conclusions? Could this be it?

People driving down the road. Highway or secondary road in our own community. Not thinking acutely. You can tell because they are slow to get going once a traffic light has turned green. Or they follow a slow poke for 2 miles before attempting to pass them. they dither at parking lot entrances and parking slots as well. It is as though they are not fully aware of what they are doing. Are they merely keeping busy? For what purpose?

Small talk at the diner, or in the grocery line. Topics of daily discussion arise and people share their opinions. Someone almost always jumps in avidly to denounce one idea or another. They argue. They don’t particularly offer an idea that is a solution to the topic at hand, but the criticism is present nonetheless! Why? Are they really demonstrating their grasp of things, or creating a smoke screen so problems are left unsolved? Interesting. Wonder how true this is; or not!

Endless string of meetings of different groups. Their agendas are laid out carefully. Discussion occurs; some hot, some not. But conclusions are elusive. Solutions are not adopted. Discussion continues. Frustratingly it continues. The issue begs for completion. It begs for a solution. Why then do attendees not seek the possibilities? Are they afraid of appearing dense? Unable to think clearly? Absent some good ideas that might be useful?  Why do they leave so much important matter left unsolved?

Maybe they are afraid they will be appointed the task of doing the work. Could that be it?  Fear of taking responsibility?

I always found that getting involved builds interesting learning experiences. After the task was done I knew more and understood more than a lot of others. But that is because I was involved with the problem and wrestled it to a more manageable condition.

Who am I? Who are you? How can we possible know if we don’t think on these things?

Indeed. If we don’t think on these things we shut down our creativity in other areas.  When the act of creating is so much fun and interesting, why do we avoid it? Is the next newscast that important? Or the next crossword puzzle. Or maybe we just have to see the next installment of a TV series. I might miss something important.

I think not. I suspect avoidance is rampant in our lives if the above scenarios play out.

Sit down with a friend and find out from them directly what they think about various topics. The more local the topics the better! Learn how closely your ideas track with the other person’s. Make certain they see that as well. Then begin thinking on what things could be improved upon. And by whom. And when and with what resources. Pretty soon you might really have some ideas to share with others.

Don’t tell the other people those ideas. Share them slowly by asking them what their current thinking is on these problems or topics. Engage them in discussion. Try to make it a mutual exploration and act of discovery.

Pretty soon something good may come of all this. It is purposeful, isn’t it? It is creative and engaging. And you are not alone with your own thoughts. You are building on the ideas of others. You all have a stake in it.

You always did. So let’s make it apparent. Use the ideas.

Jean de La Fontaine shared this idea with the world:

            “A person often meets his destiny on the path he took to avoid it.”

Not bad! Now to turn that around and use it!

July 9, 2013

Happenstance...Fate

Awake and arise. Stumble around. Make coffee, get the computer fired up. Read email, tour the internet. Get some of the news. Post my blog. These are some of the things I do every morning. Every morning.

I scan things I am supposed to be doing and noting approaching deadlines. These include projects, estate management items, blog topics and writing, column ideas, themes for approaching newspaper editions and things like that. Ideas begin to flow.

Sometimes the ideas take surprising shape. All by themselves. Some ideas get nudged by  various topics – get me thinking in different directions. Vectors. Swoops of thought. A tickling awareness peeks out of nowhere, then disappears, and maybe reappears 30 minutes later.

When the tickle turns to itch I begin writing. Fifteen minutes later the page is filled. Logic gives rhythm and paragraphs tumble into being. A blog or column is written. A logjam of ideas is set free. The brain is ready for other tasks.

Balancing the check book, planning auto maintenance chores, and thinking about special projects for the Chamber of Commerce, or the Park District or the Arts Council begin to build a presence. Notes are written. Emails are sent. Questions are posed and some research usually follows, including more emails and Google searches.  The hunt is engaged for collaborative thinking and creating.

This activity attracts more activity and a variety of people bump into my consciousness. Which reminds of a quote I caught the other day:

“We don’t meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.”                                            ~Author Unknown

Some call this fate. I think it is more complex than that.

Thinking begets more thinking. Disciplined logic clarifies ideas; more points of connection between ideas produces still more ideas. All of this generally leads to more understanding, especially interdependent ideas. Knowledge of our surroundings grows. We are more attuned to the ‘world’.

Many of my friends will say God works in mysterious ways. I’m not sure that’s what’s happening, but I do accept that the world is what it is and we rarely capture all of what it means. It is just too big. I hope it is God acting in my life. I hope it was meant to be. But like people we don’t meet by accident, I also think we find ideas because we are disciplined to do so. They are there. They need to be found.

And then used appropriately. The better their application the more fruitful is our labor. First we have to be open to the experience and engage it.

Buddha is reported as having said:  “Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are; it solely relies on what you think.”

Am I thinking good things? Am I even thinking, purposefully or not? Am I too idle? Do I allow life to happen to me? Or do I ponder and build.

I think the latter. I know I’m happy. The thoughts must be the good kind.

Now to use them!

July 8, 2013

Thought for the Day

Losing Sight of the Basics

It is common for us to lose touch with some simple basics. Life is busy and tends to distract us from facts that are important to us.  Here’s an example:

“Fact: If the federal minimum wage had kept up with inflation over the past 40 years it would be $10.69 an hour. Instead it’s $7.25 an hour.”

                                                                        ~tinyurl.com

Think about it. Why are we put off by establishing a minimum wage? Why are we so cheap when we actually get around to changing the set rate?

Look at the figures.  Assuming a person works full time, the $10.69 minimum wage would amount to $21,380 annually. None of us could live on that income. If there were two people in the household earning that amount the income would total $42,760. A small family watching its pennies in today’s America could survive on that income. Just barely.

But wait! The actual minimum wage is $7.25 per hour. That amounts to $14,500 per year; for two people, $29,000. I know of no household that could survive on that income unless they had free housing.

Minimum wage is not about hiring teenagers to cut our lawn, or work a part time job in our store front or small assembly plant. Minimum wage is about supporting families.

Dignity and common decency should compel us to raise the minimum wage.

Think about it!

July 6, 2013

Compelling Arguments

So you pick up your local newspaper and find a headline that signals a dispute in the city council. Reading further you learn that during a recent meeting two alderman hurled personal insults at each other while the mayor banged the gavel for order. At issue was whether to open a heavily trafficked road to commercial development.

Researching the issue one learns that this community has been at odds since the early 1950’s whether to develop the road or not. Heavily wooded lots containing nearby homes keep a forested appearance to the area. For suburbs up and down the highway commercialization has occurred for years. The reason? Tax revenues.

In the case of your town the village is broke. The large hospital is a non-profit and exempt from property taxes. They have their own fire and police departments and don’t see the need to subsidize the village. Trouble is the 70% or more of the traffic in town is aimed to and from the hospital. Roads are not maintained well; police salaries outstrip the department’s budget. So too, the benefit programs for the officers. The town has even considered outsourcing the police function to the county sheriff’s department. Not only is that not a popular solution locally, the county has neatly avoided the issue with an administrative sidestep.

Decision: to develop available land revered by a lot of town people, or keep the woodsy ambience alive for another generation? The town has torn itself up for years arguing this issue. The discussion is not civil. Downright ugly!

At least the public incivility demonstrates an issue certainly exists. That’s a good first step, but what to do after that?

The first step I think is to lower the decibels surrounding the discussion.  Personalities and incivility only power up more anger, resentment and hyperbole. Arguments become outlandish and unhelpful.

Differences of opinion contain the elements of solutions. They have to be examined closely to realize they are there, but the analysis is helpful. Actually, solving a problem begins with a clear minded definition of the problem in the first place. What is wrong. What are the operative pieces that make it wrong? What could we do temporarily to lessen the effects of the problem? That sort of discussion is helpful. Yelling at each other is not.

As a planning consultant for nearly 30 years, I understand how protective discussants become over what they fear will be lost to change. The seed to further discussion is realizing that we all fear losing something. What is it? Identify it. Perhaps we are all afraid of losing something that the community relies on to identify itself!  We should all protect that. But do we agree with the definition of that special something?

Do trees define the town? Do woodsy preserves define who we are as a community? Or is it something else.  That is the starting point to solving a host of problems for this community I think. The trick is to get people to calm down enough so they can become an active participant in solving the problem.

While calm returns, why not begin the process of envisioning the town’s future 10 to 20 years in the future? What do we want our village to look like? What key elements must be present to identify who we are as a community? How should we treat each other? What do we each need from community life, and what can we each return to it?

These things are not automatic. They are the result of intentional actions, planning and highly technical engineering and management. All of these elements are major assets for a community. They are the assets that are used and renewed in operating a community that is focused on serving the long term interests of all its residents. And businesses. And service agencies, churches, public servants, etc.

It helps to imagine our town without these problems. Sort of like giving peace a chance to do its magic!

Perhaps my neighboring town should try this approach. They have everything to gain and absolutely everything to lose if they don’t.

Heck, I’ll even donate my time and experience to help with the process if they want. Anyone listening?

I’ll let you know.

July 5, 2013