Ego and Serving Others

I interact with a lot of people who have problems. Admittedly they have problems; they tell me so. I too admit my frailties. Lack of perfection is often viewed by self and others as a burden. And at times it certainly is.

A burden at times yes; but also a gift.

When a person admits a problem they begin to face it. The process of facing personal problems teaches much about the self. Unfurling the inner core helps me understand me. That leads to discovery about self as well as others. I’m not the only one with problems. I work with my problems in one way and surely others do so similarly. Uncovering that truth bares interpersonal mechanics, which in turn allows us to understand a host of ways people live in the world and treat other people. 

If we can understand that we can accomplish much with and through others. Not through manipulation, but creative solutions based on human nature.

Simply put: the best way to find yourself is lose yourself in service to others.

Serving others requires loss of ego. Not worrying about your own needs allows you to care for another person. This is an essential lesson to learn in life. I wonder how and when most people learn this lesson? I think too late in life.

Usually we protect our personal space – either literal or emotional – by building ‘walls’ around our ideas. We shield them from view lest they draw criticism. Sometimes our ideas are too new or unproven to survive criticism, yet that’s what they need to grow strong. Best we are corrected early on than allowed to think wrongly and build on those ideas to a certain embarrassment when they fall into shambles!

Ralph Waldo Emerson had this to say about that:

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”

The contradiction is a test, a criticism. Discussing it creates learning for both views. Broadening understanding comes from such discussion. It leads to strengthening core ideas and the process of thinking. It helps participants in the discussion understand each other better as well as the ideas.

We all grow from this discipline. We ought to welcome it in our lives. It builds bridges with other people and other ideas. And the richness of life becomes apparent, fun and exciting.

Ego gets in the way of knowing and understanding others. Problems examined uncovers the strength to both know the self as well as others. That is socialization, bringing people together in authentic and workable ways. A good thing.

Yes. A good thing. Strong enough to build community!

July 12, 2013