Estate Management

Some of you know that I was named the administrator of an estate for a friend who died last December. Never having been in this role before, I had a lot to learn even as I learned and manage the affairs of the estate day by day. The first tasks were handling the details of the deceased’s body, notifying family members of the death, and finding a probate attorney who would guide me through the process. The second task was pulling the financial authority together so I could pay bills and determine the financial status of the estate. A third task was managing the household that was left in my charge.

That was to be more of a project than anticipated. First, the deceased had invited two acquaintances to live in his home temporarily for free while they sorted out their own personal affairs. One individual was a physically disabled and unemployed former building contractor who was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder; he was also a sober, recovering alcoholic of 23 years. The second tenant was an unemployed, homeless recovering alcoholic who was suffering from a complex of emotional problems while binge drinking alcohol. To make matters worse the two tenants did not get along! And that is putting it mildly!!

As I write this it is the day after Labor Day. The long weekend is over and both tenants have vacated the property. It was a struggle getting to this point but suffice to say the building is now ready for rehabbing.

Today I will spend the day assessing contents remaining in the structure and earmarking each item for sale by auction, disposal by donation, and what is left for the trash. I have hired a crew to start work this week to clear out the unwanted items, sweep clean the building and prepare it for the real estate closing.

One tenant had stored her personal household goods in the basement but, upon leaving, learned they were of little use to her and wanted them disposed of. The other tenant picked items that were salable at a garage sale but learned most were not wanted. Thus much remains. Tools, scrap, old damaged furniture, and a dirty kitchen containing decades worth of used household goods unusable by anyone.

So, the big cleanup begins. What once was thought to be a home of moderate distinction is now one of dejection and abandonment. It is a sad image. It is an even sadder reality. To this end a life has come. And true to the adage, we can take nothing to the grave but our good name. No goods. No monument.

For me much work remains on the estate. The work will progress with the help of a probate attorney and an estate liquidator attorney. Such is due diligence in these matters. But it will conclude favorably before the anniversary of the decedent’s death. At least I hope this is the result!

Along the way I remember the friend who is no longer with us. In all of his personality and character traits, he was a good friend but a complex one. Intelligent, quick witted, great conversationalist and a prober of the deep questions of life. Just the sort of person I am attracted to! I have pondered his life much these past several months. I wonder if I have performed well enough on his behalf. Have we remembered him well enough? Have we been of comfort to those who loved and cared for him? Have we left a temple of respect to swaddle his repose in memory?

I’m not sure I will ever know the answers to those questions. I do feel honored to have been entrusted with these tasks, however.

There is much work left to do. I know I will grumble and sweat over much of it. But in the end it will be my way to honor his memory. For good or bad this is the task; this was his life.

September 5, 2013