This is a daily journal. Its purpose is to offer an outlet
for my personal musings whatever their source. You know, sources of feelings,
whether of joy, wonder, awe, or sadness. Sometimes those feelings come from
discoveries, other times from realizations that something is wrong, or a
problem is looming. The hollowness of fear grows evident. It isn’t always known
– either the issue or the severity of it. It might be related to health, or
finances, or relationships. Any of those are fodder enough!
In my current case it is financial. We live on social
security benefits. The program was not meant to be the sole source of
retirement income, but for many it is. In my case I never planned it to be the
sole source of income. But it is. Ill health, early retirement and settling
obligations left me without my retirement investments. So social security it
is.
Luckily, Rocky and I both have these benefits and together
we can cover the basics – rent, auto payment, health insurance premiums,
medications, food, and auto expense. It’s tight, but it has worked out for two
years.
The issue now is higher costs and stagnant income. Over the
past few years there has been some income from the tail end of my consulting
practice; not much, but some. And then there has been the occasional service to
someone who opts to pay me a stipend for that attention. These bits of income
paid for the occasional pair of new socks, underwear or a shirt. It also paid
for a lunch or supper out at a restaurant; but no travel, entertainment venues
or shopping sprees.
In the past 14 months we have often deferred refilling
medications in favor of modest food purchases. Putting off an oil change for
the car is another short term solution. So are any actions to reduce routine
costs. At this time, however, those options are slim to none. We could
eliminate cable TV and one cell phone. That would provide some flexibility in
our monthly budget; not much, but some. Cheaper housing would be helpful but
that requires moving and the associated costs. Reducing our grocery budget
would also help, and it would provide a kick to dieting that would pay other
benefits!
But these are stop gap measures that do not really spell
sustainability. And that’s what’s bothering me. I’ve always had a rainy day fund
or a routine inflow of funds on a seasonal basis that I relied on for taxes,
auto repairs, or just a cushion. The rainy day fund is no more and not likely
to be rebuilt.
Larger solutions need to be found and implemented. I’m in
the process of finding them.
Meanwhile I share this with you because I think it is a sign
of the times. It may be a normal thing for elders that I’ve not known about in
the past. But I know it now. I’m living it. And I doubt we are alone. The
fabric of our society is much more frayed than I had thought and someone needs
to talk about it.
I worry about this because being on view is an admission of
failure, for anyone who has the nerve to write about it. I don’t want anyone to
think I feel entitled to something I didn’t earn. I don’t want to be a burden
to society. But increasingly I recognize that I am such a burden, and than many
people my age and older are as well.
My situation is fully understood by me. I’ve analyzed every
which way and realize what went wrong, what I should have done, and what most people
should be doing as well. Lordy, I did all the right things in the past for much
of my life, but as push came to shove, short term solutions were acted on that
did long term damage. Sustainability was the casualty. And now the problem is
much more difficult to repair.
Sort of like the state of Illinois and its unfunded pension debacle!
Short term solutions constructed a massive problem that is nearly impossible to
repair without hurting an awful lot of people.
Just as the state leaders did themselves in, so did I with
my own finances. The only difference is I admit it and take responsibility for
it. They don’t. They suffer from a lack of humility. I have the humility to
admit it. It doesn’t solve the problem, but it does remove a barricade to
finding the answers to the problem.
So be it. Now for the hard work.
Stay tuned as I/we work this out.
Meanwhile, live life in the present, but plan for the
future!
December 30, 2015
Best of luck with this.
ReplyDeleteWhen I left the monastery after 30 years, there was no pension plan to count on. The assumption -- foolish, given the actual situation for the past forty years in Catholic religious communities -- was that you would just stay and the community would care for you in your old age. Also, although the community paid into Social Security beginning in about 1985, they paid at the lowest allowable level. (It was basically a way to get into Medicare. There was no expectation that SS payments would matter much.) As a result, when I retired from work ten years later, my Social Security income was very small. After the Medicare deduction, I get less than $500 a month.
I am fortunate in two ways, however. One, I am now married and my husband is in great financial shape. Two, after 30 years in a monastery, if I do ever find myself trying to live on $500 a month, I will probably be better prepared than most people to make the effort. But as you and I both know, medical costs alone will eat a big portion of that for an older guy. I have some savings, but that too would disappear pretty fast. (Of course, my husband's will provides for me and I do not expect to have to try to survive on SS alone. But I know that most people are not in my situation.)
Although I am in a fairly secure situation at the moment, I spent a number of years after leaving the monastery when I had no health insurance and was living on not more than minimum wage jobs, despite having graduate degrees and a rather impressive resume and trying hard to find full-time employment. I know what that kind of stress can do to you. You are in my thoughts and hopes as a new year breaks upon us.