Phone Call

A Saturday afternoon and the cell phone vibrates. A call coming from Arizona. The number seemed familiar so I answered. It was my sister. Excitedly she exclaimed she was happy finding me home. In a rush, she told me mom’s phone had not been connected and no one knew it. So, she plugged it in and told me to hang up and wait a few minutes. She would connect me with mom on her own phone.

Two minutes later I was speaking with my mother who is 103 years, 9 months, old. Her voice came through loud and clear. And very familiar! It had been a long time since we last spoke. She is quite arthritic and has trouble dialing/pushing phone buttons without many errors. She does not understand speed dial. And she cannot remember details as well as she once did. So, phone calls have not come from her for at least 5 years.

Her personal schedule is also complex and out of sync with the rest of the country. She goes to bed at 5:30 pm and reads until she falls asleep. She won’t answer the phone once in bed so if you call her it must be within a window of 5:15 to 5:30 pm. The rest of the time she is unavailable. So, I haven’t called her for 5 years. The timing must be just right and that’s a bit hard to do with our busy schedules. So, voice communications have been nonexistent for 5 years.

Living on a low fixed income, our travels have ceased. No longer do I make the annual trip to Arizona to visit mom. It is simply out of the question. We have filled in the communication gap by my writing an occasional letter, full, rich with many details to keep her attentive to family doings here in Illinois. She doesn’t respond because her arthritis is too severe to manipulate a pen.

These are not good communication behaviors for either side of our relationship. The slow and steady decline is, of course, due to aging. She will be 104 in February 2018. Amazing long life. But it comes with challenges as you would expect.

Still, her memory was sharp and her voice certain. We had a conversation. And not about the weather! She is doing well. Tired and exhausted by living this long. But she is still with us and doing well just the same.

A voice from the past. A reminder of the long ago. And still we have the present. Amazing. And all from connecting by voice.

November 28, 2017