Power of Nasty

I’ve struggled to understand what has happened to our country. Maybe nothing happened to turn us away from pleasant to ugly. I remember pleasanter times. Remembering takes us on a journey of the past; maybe that’s why it comes off as pleasant?

Encountering the present, however, is an onerous and ugly reality. Whatever caused the present to unfold in its current state, it is wrong. Both the cause and the outcome are wrong. This is not what America is about. It is not what we learned in school. It was not what we learned in church school or around the family table, either.

Ugly. Ugly talk. Ugly behavior. Ugly facial expressions. Ugly newscasts, ugly books, and ugly reading on the internet.

Have I written such ugly material? I admit thinking it; I admit writing it and then deleting it before publishing; I admit wanting to reach out with an ugly message. So, I’m not certain if I authored an ugly piece or not.

Surely there are those who disagree with me and would place an ‘ugly’ label on my opinion. But that doesn’t make it ugly from an objective view. Still, it is unpleasantly received by someone.

Well, let’s be honest. Our present state of affairs is ugly. Whether you or I had anything to do with it won’t help anything. But, we can change the next instant of our present, and make for a better future.

Into the trash bin goes the negative. Right now. No more reading of negative opinion. That’s opinion. News can be negative; we don’t have much to do about that except hear/read/view it and process its meaning accordingly. The news may help us change the progression of facts and make a kinder, gentler future.

Ellen DeGeneres ends her daily show with these words: ‘Be kind to one another.’ So simple and yet so difficult.

I recall holding the door for the person behind me regardless of who they are – age, gender, ethnicity, etc. It feels right to do this. It also makes me feel good most of the time. It is an automatic action for me after all these years. Not everyone does this. Watch how others manage this simple transaction when exiting a store or public building. We are assuming no automatic doors here!

You may surprise yourself to see how uncaring and rude some people are. Maybe not rude, just unaware of others as they plod on their self-focused day. Yet, I bet you will be pleased to see how nice many people are to one another.

Our household is aging and unable to negotiate big box stores without the electric carts. It is surprising how pleasant people are around us in those contraptions. Many people offer to reach higher shelves for us. They even probe the frozen food cases for us. Most of the time we can do this for ourselves; it is the walking and standing that debilitates us. It is heartening to note how generous others are when they experience the needs of others.

Ok. We get it that niceness is available and often exercised. We need more of it. A lot more of it.

We also need a lessening of the ugly. It starts with us, of course. Each of us can respond or not to the ugly. Calling it out, is one form of action, but it is difficult to do this without seeming ugly ourselves. So, maybe we just stop reading the ugly? Replace our nature to respond with a positive behavior. Smile and say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Then move on to something positive.

Politics is ugly. It doesn’t have to be but many of my family members remind me it has seemed ugly all the time they can remember. The profession of politics is argumentative and power focused. That may explain it, but it does not excuse it.

We the people define our politics. We allow it to be ugly. We can also not allow it to be ugly.

One way to call out ugly politicians is not vote for them. Period. Across the board. Don’t vote for people who are nasty, attacking and decidedly unpleasant. Regardless of their point of view or political party; boycott ugly! That goes for Dog Catcher to President.

We must learn to be fact-based and logical discussants of civic affairs. Whether global, national or local, all civic issue discussions should be pleasant. After all, they are fact finding missions for those of us who are in the discussions. I’m attempting to learn your point of view to determine why I do or don’t agree with you. I don’t have to be disagreeable while disagreeing!

Civil discussion is a must. This is one method of cancelling out the ugly.

The topic most important for us to discuss is this: what role government? Discuss that topic. Be nice while doing it. Test your resolve to be nice to one another. You might be stunned what you learn. We agree on much more than the things we disagree about.

Be the Un-ugly for the remainder of 2017. Maybe 2018 will turn out peachy keen?

November 30, 2017