Done with Old; On with New

Notice the title is not “Out with the Old.” Done is different. I mean we need to move on. In so many ways.

• House too big? Downsize
• Car costly to keep? Get another one with usable life; new or used
• Job going downhill? Opportunities shrinking? Find a new employer
• Job not in demand? Find a new career
• In an abusive relationship? Admit it and move on to a new one
• Not feeling well? Consistently? List the symptoms and go to the doctor
• Got an opinion? Think it out and share it; with anyone! Just get it out.
• Tired of your routine? Really bored? Find new interests and move on!

The list can be extended endlessly but these seem good for a start. The home downsizing is not very practical in the current housing market, but you know what I’m referring to. We acquire housing that fits our family situation over the years; that changes over the years as well. So there is a time to think downsizing, or if that bothers you, ‘right sizing’. It will save you work, money and worry. It will give you time and energy to invest in other interests that will give you new zest in living. Think about that seriously. No rash decisions, but consider deeply the alternatives.

Right sizing the car, or transportation in general. What do you need? On the rare occasion when you need utility (space, carrying capacity) can you borrow, rent or ask for help? Own what works for you 90% of the time. Don’t worry about the other 10%. If the current car is costly to maintain, consider a newer model with a good warranty; used or new doesn’t matter; just the warranty and history of maintenance expense. Reliable, efficient and easy on gas. Maybe time to trim back to one car for the household? Think about the options and have courage to make the right decision for you. Smaller may be better; cheaper allows more flexibility in spending.

Abusive relationships. I’ve witnessed a few up close. They are toxic. The abused doesn’t realize his/her status; it grew over time without realizing the consequences. The abuser may not know he/she is doing it. Someone needs to help them see the situation clearly. They either mean something to each other or they don’t. If unsalvageable, the relationship needs to be ended. Free of the abuse new options become abundantly clear. Hard choices. Courage needed. Freedom trumps abuse. Be safe. Seek help. But do it!

Another touchy matter to consider: job change. If you are in a good employer/employee relationship but your job is going nowhere you need to take action. Ask the employer for his outlook on your career future, with the firm or elsewhere. Is there a future in this job/career? Are there opportunities to advance in a direction desirable to you? If not, is this due to skill limitations on your part? Or the firm’s capability? Or maybe the job itself is destined for obsolescence? Are times leading to the elimination of your job entirely? If so, how much time do you have to make a change?

Consider your career options. What fascinates you the most in life? What are your interests? Is there any intersection of these elements that may help define a new career for you? This is your business, not anyone else’s. You need to do this work. Life changes and we change along with it. Better we do so with self knowledge. Always: seek what feeds your interest and life force. Don’t settle. Move on to the new, the exciting, the self fulfilling future! Think about this. Intentionally. Your employability is in your own hands.

We settle into ruts easily. The path of least resistance. The familiar and comfortable. The predictable. But these are not always the healthiest for our body, mind and spirit. Health concerns accumulate slowly over time. Some may relate to others. Symptoms and causes do not always appear logical. List symptoms in writing. Keep the list current. If something lessens or disappears, remove it from the list. If another seems more acute, update the list and see a doctor. Share the list. Hand it to him/her. Let them determine what is important. Follow their advice and take their tests. They are the professionals. Rely on them. This behavior also leads to successful prevention actions. Adopt them.

If you have an opinion on something, write it down. Maybe share it with someone, but mostly write it down. Stare at it long enough to determine if you are satisfied with the statement. You are not writing a book! A sentence; or a few to define the issue and your opinion about it. Let it steep for several days. Revisit it and refine the statement. Perhaps read material related to the opinion statement. Maybe you can improve on its articulation? Try to remove heated words; they get in the way for others to understand your meaning. Keep the ideas pure of emotion if you can. Now share it with another person, a friend who thinks like you, and then family members you trust for an honest opinion. Once you are confident that you have something to share with a broader audience, write a letter to the editor of a local paper, or share it on the Internet, or Facebook, or whatever other channels of communication you may have available. Don’t lose your cool! Just share the idea. Watch for feedback. Let it inform you about your idea. Refine your idea as needed. Move on to other opinions. Be respectful. Be open to learn what others think. Develop this habit.

Are you bored with your life’s routine? Really? Even after following the above suggestions? Did you really try moving on? It has rewards waiting for you. Trust me. Or yourself.

February 25, 2012