Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Love and Violence


It’s not easy imagining a loved one being violent. Sometimes pondering brings us to the edge of this consideration, but mostly it is just that, a pondering.


Until the blow is struck. Then is it real.


Friends of mine have battled a son with alcoholism. Now 35 years of age, the son continues to spiral down in drunkenness. First it was sloppy over drinking. Then it was vomitous results, frequently. Then subdued breathing and unconsciousness. A drink was never enough. Another was added to the others. Until black out.


The pattern continued with weekly ambulance rides to ER. Finally, the doctors were convinced other measures were needed. Off to a lockdown facility with counseling, group therapy for both drug and alcohol addicts. Soon after release of 32 days, a bit of work, some money earned, and another drunk. Two days later ER again. Several more times and another clinic for psychological help. All in all four admissions to these facilities, each time resulting in new fervor for a new day.


But the old pattern soon reappeared.


A drunken brawl found him in jail. Then hospital again, jail again, and no relief in sight.
Begging for help from his elderly parents (81 and 72), bullying soon followed. They were and are unable to afford any meaningful help. They turned to friends and social agencies. Even the police were engaged to help. And they did.


More hospital interventions followed and more lockdown psych facilities, too.


Finally released with no job, no money and a need to find solace in his misery, his anger took over. He beat his mom; then his dad: smashed his glasses, broke his nose and four ribs (and a punctured lung). The dad was able to push the son out on the street, called 911 for both the police and an ambulance. After the ER, they were both admitted to the hospital. Just home now after three days.


Violence. The unthinkable. Among loved ones. Utter lack of control of both the self and family. This is when local authorities step in to preserve order and focus on the real problem of addiction. No drugs, but alcohol. Of course, that is a drug. And some people cannot control their requirement of it.


The price for order in this case is a tearful admission of failed management of alcoholism.


Jail, prison, psychological attention, perhaps psychiatric help, too. Whatever, this young fellow will not be allowed to mingle with the public anytime soon.


We can rest easy now. Until he is released and tested for resolve over life in the open. What will it be then?



October 8, 2019


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