Making our Own Way

Another anonymous quote from the Internet: “We have all been placed on this earth to discover our own path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life.” 

When just a young boy I wondered what my life would be like. What would I be doing after grade school, or junior high, or high school? Some of those yard posts were so unfamiliar to me then I couldn’t imagine what the school experience would be let alone what I would be doing or feeling. 

Some of the basic questions then were: would I get married? Would I have kids? Would I be a policeman or businessman or fireman, or soldier? Basic things. Until I did get older and knew more, felt more.

Later, in high school and in college, the journey became more complicated but richer. I had choices to make. I could investigate many avenues, or just jump in and choose and see what happens! The discoveries were sometimes boring, other times awesome. Later I would muddle through thinking about the experiences to see what they had taught me. What did these experiences make me think about the future? How would this change my path to my future life?

During this journey I encountered many people. Some family, older generations. Some teachers. Neighbors were always willing to chat with me about a lot of things. But life brings a large and changing cast of characters with which to converse. Processing their answers was not easy; so much sorting and cataloguing. Weighing and measuring the value of the ideas shared. Concluding maybe; changing the conclusions nearly always in the early years. 

Well the journey to discovering self and life path is an interactive one but it is also mine to make, mine to interpret, mine to discern. Where will it lead and how nervy am I in the exploration? How much excitement can I stand?

There have been major influences on my life from time to time. Some were people, original thinkers and persuasive personalities. Others were practitioners of work or professions that held interest for me. But most often the influential elements were experiences. Those I alone lived, felt, thought about and made conclusions about. Those happenings slowly gave shape to my life and I worked harder and harder to discover who I was. It wasn’t only that; I wanted to know what I was good at, what I had a talent for, what role I could play in life that had meaning and reward.

No one can tell you that directly. They can hint or suggest. They cannot tell you or make you see the world in a way that is foreign and uncomfortable to you. It is your task to find your way.

I think the task seems unwieldy to people. Sometimes it felt that way to me as well. But I became more interested in the process and what I learned. This grew into a challenge and brought me excitement. This was something I could do; was doing. It was an unfolding, day after day, month after month. The view of ‘possible’ expanded before my eyes.

I sometimes wonder how others manage this process in their lives. Have they been so coddled by parents and family that they await their ‘assignment?’ Have they been raised to be careful? To be cautious about any exploration, let alone self discovery? Will they be allowed to break out of the shell long enough to get a whiff of this exciting journey? Or will they be constrained? Smothered?

 

I observe parents who want their child to become a concert pianist, or a certified public accountant, or an engineer. Rarely do these parents see their kid as a teacher; maybe a researcher or college professor, but not a teacher. Rarely do parents want their youngster to become a soldier or policeman, either. Too much danger. Too many life and death situations.

Parents are not a good judge of what a young person should become. The young person doesn’t know either, but it is the exploration and acts of discovery which inform him/her. This is the process to the future. This is the job needing to be done. By one person. You. 

May this freedom always be yours in which to be the real you, to grow into all you can be. And may others celebrate your freedom and life choices!

March 25, 2012