Bridge Building

Connecting one point to another on opposite sides of an obstacle. The latter might be a river, a chasm, or a gross unevenness of ground. Whichever, a structure spans the gap to connect to different points. That’s the physical world. Now broaden the conceptual arena to ideas. 

I view the world from one perspective based on my life experiences. Some events caused joy; others led to shame or embarrassment, or a feeling of success, security. Your experience led to lessons which taught you how to view life differently from me. Each is valid, of course. Each has its truth. 

If we each lived in a different country, perhaps with broadly based different cultures, we would probably see the world quite differently. Getting to know each other, however, provides an opportunity to understand each other’s culture, or at least how those cultures affect what we think and how we think. Reaching out and testing these ideas helps us build an understanding of what makes us different. Along the way we also gain insight on what makes us alike. 

It is that bit of insight that is the cell of building a bridge to a broader understanding of our differences, and also our ‘likenesses.’  

Imagine a new family has moved onto your block. Their home is across the street from yours. Your languages are different and unknown to one another. So silence is present. Facial expressions and laughter, grunts of understanding or other noises may be sounded, but no words. How much do you begin to understand each other?  Probably a lot.  

Gestures, actions, behavior – all begin to develop reliable patterns. We slowly get to know the other family in bits and pieces even though we have not spoken a word! We are building a basis to know the other family, and they us. Bridging between two families or households is taking place. Bridging between two cultures is also taking place.  

It is easy to see how we are different from each other. It is not so difficult to see how we are also alike. In so many ways. Some of this understanding is easy. Some come as surprising ‘aha’ moments. But two things are certain: we are still different, but we have to consciously attempt to understand the other.  

That’s bridge building. Listening. Becoming aware. Consciously being open to this process of seeing and perceiving so we can understand. Happily it occurs often without our knowing it. But awesomely it happens better if we make it happen intentionally.  

Meeting this challenge is important for each of us. And for all of us as a culture, a community, a nation, whatever else is taken as a whole. We need to meet this challenge, this bridge building need, so we can understand those who are different from us. It makes us more whole. It enriches our lives. We enjoy the many dimensions of our lives. We see things in many ways, not just one. It’s exciting. And it is healthy. 

Healthy is being open to other points of view. Healthy is knowing your point of view is not the only one that is valid. Healthy is getting along with others. Healthy is enjoying others in your life. Despite differing points of view. 

Open to knowing, to understanding. That’s the basic skill needed to be open to other possibilities in your life. Growth. Appreciation of differentness. Valuing others and their points of view. We don’t agree. But we know now that it is OK.  

Building bridges is a valuable skill. It teaches us how to be whole. 

Not building bridges leads to strife, war and death. Which do you choose?

January 25, 2012