Surgery Day

Rocky undergoes surgery today. We are told this will take 10 to 12 hours. At least 6 surgeries are programmed together to accomplish the desired outcome. I’ve been over this before, so I will only summarized what they will do: remove the tumor; install a permanent stoma in the trachea for breathing; remove part of, and close off the windpipe above the stoma; remove damaged esophagus and rebuild it with tissue from his thigh; remove larynx/voicebox; install temporary feeding tube directly to the stomach until esophagus is ready for use. Two days in ICU, then 5 days in a regular room if everything goes well. If not, more OR and ICU time; then more recuperation before being sent home.


Speech and feeding therapies will begin before being discharged. Then the work really begins.


OK, we’ve been thru these preparations before. We know the drill. What we don’t know are the routines and struggles to adapt to them,  and learn them. What will it take from both of us to follow the script towards wellness?  And acceptance?


Both are unknowns; both represent challenges to be surmounted. Work and discipline are needed.

And a lot of resolve.


It is times such as these we reflect on the meaning of life and the blessings we take for granted. The taste of a fresh apple, the aromas from a cooling apple pie fresh from the oven; a favorite casserole bubbling away in the oven; or simply buttered toast or English muffin. Taste. Aroma. The marriage of the two that enhances taste buds and pleasure.


Breathing through nose, mouth and sinuses, free and easy without burden. Those will not be in Rocky’s future. No, they will be cut off with only the stoma. Care, cleaning and maintenance of the stoma and its related workings will be daily and done with special care. Illness, infection and the common cold are now the enemy. Spitting up phlegm is easy now. It will be a production in the future.


And speaking will be a newly learned function with gadgets and talents assumed. That comes later with beeps, squeaks and electronic rasps. No singing!  But then Rocky was not a singer!!


Well, those are the tasks ahead. They are the new to replace what has been lost. But life will remain to live and enjoy. That is the good news. It is also the challenge, to recall what we took for granted all these years.



It is worthwhile to reflect on the value of life and what makes it special. One leg or two, or none at all? Or one or both arms? And what of the stroke victim who lies in bed for endless days unable to speak or write? To express themselves of the thoughts they still have in their minds. They are whole within, but bear silent witness.



We complain of the headache, the sprained ankle, the sore throat and the gimpy knee or shoulder. The aging body makes known the parts no longer working, or at least not as well. Rather than complain, think of circumstances more dire. Welcome and celebrate what we have when we have it. Enjoy it fully. We will lose such amenities eventually.



Today we smile our thanks. We feel our gratitude. We know what makes us whole. So many others cannot.

For ourselves we find strength.



July 9, 2019



PS: we have hope for good outcomes from today’s procedures. I will share actual results when we know them. Patience is a virtue, not a talent of ours presently!