Settling

Settling and waiting. Waiting and settling. What gives?

Trying to sell the house. Market values have dropped. Still dropping. Now a short sale while foreclosure works its way through the byzantine process. Agencies call to help but only clog the path to settlement.

Short sale offer on house. Foreclosure process halts while short sale process kicks in. Lawyers and real estate agents vie for time. Mortgage bank and Fannie Mae want equal time. In the background IRS awaits their pound of flesh. So many people. So many outstretched hands.

Look for new home. House, town home, condo, apartment, manufactured home? Try each one. Other than rental each needs a down payment; we have none. Apartment lease needs three months up front; can arrange that with difficulty but can do it. Do we stay close or move 50 to 80 miles away to get cheaper housing? Still difficult to arrange. Not much on the market that doesn't need major repairs or fix up. Rent is near our top budget limit. And that will only go up.

Look out of state. St. Louis? Iowa? New Mexico or Arizona?

Internet is a godsend! We search markets far away from our present home. We once were interested in Sun City, Arizona. Back a few years we could afford it easily, maybe even pay cash for a place; but now, we have no equity in our home; no cash purchase of next place. But wait! Arizona prices have collapsed as well. Lots of people dying and leaving homes empty. Bankruptcies and short sales abound. Estate sales, too.

The places are modest but ample. Clean and designed for elder citizens. We are that, perhaps not immediately, but soon. We need to prepare for that day. So these are attractive alternatives.

Mom lives nearby but at 99 has not much time left, and what is left is of a very limited horizon. Sister and her partner live nearby as well. Their interests are vastly different from ours, but still family and a connection to past and present.

No friends to speak of there. No help to move into a new place. Will we be able to afford assistance to do the move? Will we be able to afford moving our ‘stuff’ 1800 miles? Can we do much of that ourselves: rent truck, drive it out followed by our car? How much does a truck cost? How much do gas and tolls cost for 1800 miles? And the car?  But what happens at the destination? Remove each piece of stuff and move it into the new place. Can two old codgers do that?

Let’s say we do. What then? I can imagine us sitting in the new place. Looking around and seeing our new surroundings. Old stuff but new place. How do we make this our home? Peer out the window at dessert surroundings. Palm trees and watered short lawns. Small space, compact. Electric appliances, no gas! Lots to get used to that’s different and perhaps unwelcome change.

But wait! The neighborhood is familiar. Parents have lived here since 1971 and we have visited often. We know what to expect. We know Phoenix and its attractions and joys. We are still able to get around to concerts and museums. Love to take drives into the country and surrounding mountains. We make friends easily. We have a solid church connection. Have to get used to the elder ghetto syndrome but many generations there have done so.

Finding a new place is one thing. Finding a new home is another. Moving away from one place is far different than moving to a new life, a new chapter.

This phasing of life business is not as easy as some make it seem. Much to think about. Lots to get used to.

Waiting and planning. Imagining the new and settling. Settling? Is that like getting settled in? or is it settling for whatever one can find and capture?  I like the former. It’s like nesting. The latter is bleak.

September 23, 2013