Inner Voices

I visited this topic earlier a few months ago. I’m referring to the ‘voice’ we have inside our minds. We converse with it and through it. It thinks through ideas and options that we apply from time to time throughout the day, week, month, or year. We hold ourselves accountable to this refrain of logic voiced by the inner self. It is our conscience. It is our test coach for many topics. We try out logic with this; new ideas pitted against old problems, or new problems intersecting with old ideas? Which works better? What seems practical? What is ethical?

Inner voice. I have one. You do too. And no! I’m not talking about psychotic voices.

The inner voice is also our narrator. It constructs a life-story narrative. What do I dream of doing? How do I see myself living my life? In later years, what does the young narrative look like compared with the narrative of what actually happened? Are they at all close?

When we have tough questions to ponder and cannot come up with a comfortable, ready answer, what do we do then? Does the inner voice ache to express itself in some manner? Might that be an arted action? A poem, literary piece or essay, or maybe a play, a song, musical line, lyric, or whatever? Or maybe the hands need to be busy making something: ceramic, sculpture, chair or other piece of furniture? Or sewing or baking or one of many other activities that take us out of ourselves?

Is this where art comes from?

I helped a young man enter an alcohol rehab facility recently. On the long drive there I asked him if he had any interest in art. Had he dabbled in anything over the years that he could recall. Readily he responded: “I write poetry.” He had begun writing poetry in his teens and kept it up off and on before, during and after college attempts. He tried his hand at several jobs to little avail. His life’s narrative had been interrupted, not completed. He was at odds and ends. And so he fretted about that,  doing odds and ends, and wound up drinking too much, too often. Self-medicating went too far; he ended up in hospital a few times for detox.

The narrative did not repair itself. An intervention was arranged and he agreed to a 28-day lockdown in a detox center which would also expose him to 12-step education and therapy. Working with other alcoholics and substance abusers, he will learn how to understand himself, how to cope with his issues, how he is similar to others and yet different from them. Most importantly, he will learn how to rebuild his narrative. He will find his inner voice and write a better script for it.

He is in rehab now. By May 1 he should be emerging to a fresh start. There are people who will help him and accompany him on his journey. I suggested he think about this throughout his stay in rehab. I suggested he deal with the likely struggles through poetry. We laughed and wondered if he would exit rehab with a 100-page collection of poetry! Might it be saleable? Might this become a new career narrative for him?

He thought about that. He didn’t reject it. He soon was recalling his early poetry efforts. This time with pride and openness. Is this a new beginning? Time will tell. If it is, art wins again. Keep your fingers crossed!

April 4, 2018