Journaling -- A way to process

I became aware of ‘stream of consciousness’ literary style back in my 20’s. At the time I mulled over many thoughts, wondering about this and that, and so the ‘stream of consciousness’ literary mechanism was a good fit with me. Now many years later it still is. Only now, I realize we all live with stream of consciousness; it is called life.

It is more than that, of course; actually, it is the continuing unfolding of our awareness of varying bits and pieces of life. We pull them into our awareness, fit them with other bits and pieces, file away the intersections and go on with other business. Later we retrieve the interplay and fit it with other puzzling things. In this slow accretion we come to ‘knowing’ or at least concluding about the bits and pieces. From this we weave a broader cloth.

Later the cloth takes on textures we gather while experiencing yet more life events. Enrichment fills in gaps and our understanding becomes fuller, more embracing.

Being aware of this process is helpful. We become more intentional, more definitive in our actions and assumptions. We grow more connected with our surroundings and other people. We make sense of things. And more quickly. Experience does have its rewards!

Writing down our ideas as they occur, or after wondering about them for a while, helps clarify them. Writing about our experiences helps sort them into helpful categories. In short, journaling is a positive action to what we most commonly don’t think of as action oriented. That ‘act’ alone gives us freedom.

I think this is where poetry comes from. A burning need to organize some thoughts, a sense that an idea has to emerge from its cocoon – some urge to let it out.

At times this urge is expressed by wandering thoughts, maybe complete sentences or a paragraph or two. Other times it is a ratchet-y poem without much voice or tempo. But there are those times when a torrent pours out and holds sense together.

Meanwhile the brain is sorting through a lot of not-so-related items which may or may not build coherent ideas. But the process moves toward an unknown articulation that we only sense exists. The blooming process requires patience.

Then ‘click!’ A nugget of meaning or understanding falls into place. Something to use in understanding other things. Held and nurtured for a future exploration of other thoughts.

These discoveries take time but, more importantly, they take discipline. Unraveling bits and pieces takes care. I think of it as an archeological dig, sifting through tiny clues toward a clear picture of what has occurred thousands or millions of years ago. Only the ‘dig’ is in our head, or psyche. Delicate territory in need of honest assessment and use.

Once this mapping of our ideas and thoughts is well underway we have a better sense of who we are and where we are going. The process is not yet done; nor will it ever be really. That is something I think we are not prepared for: that our process of growth, perceiving, understanding and discerning is never really complete. Rather than feeling terror with this discovery, glory in the utility of the process. It clarifies our ideas and feelings. It helps us understand the important things that otherwise would confound us.

The process is important and begs nurture. It is a connector to an inner place. Am I using it well?

November 9, 2011