Of Planes, Wedding andTSA

Recently my son married his beautiful bride. Both have focused on education and career and put off marriage until late in their 30’s. Their maturity and grasp on life is stronger than my own who married in my mid-20’s, normal for the time. But the new normal is a full decade later. That’s an interesting subject for another time!

For now let us wallow in the wedding experience and what it meant for the attendees.

The bride and groom chose to wed in a far-off place – Curacao – a Caribbean island just 35 miles off the north coast of Venezuela. A Dutch Antilles nation, the official language is Dutch. English is required in their educational system as well, but the polyglot culture includes Japanese, Hispanic (both Spanish and Portuguese languages), and a dab of other languages as well. A mixed language idiom is spoken by most of the residents.

It amazed us to witness service personnel switch among the languages instantly. Such is not the case in our own land of the USA where we disparage those who do not speak American style English. That’s an interesting subject for another time as well!

The plane trip involved nearly 6 hours of flying time, 4 hours of airport time, and almost 2 hours of ground transport time to and from homes, airports and hotels.  That’s 12 hours each way!

Seats on the plane were smaller and closer together than I remembered the last time I had flown for my Dad’s funeral 13 years ago. But then I weighed nearly 100 pounds less. Needless to say, lack of space cramped the body and was uncomfortable to the max.

TSA (Transportation Security Agency) protocols were many and time consuming. They also required removal of belts (perilous in my case) and shoes, plus waiting in long lines. The trip down was less of a chore than the return trip which required two security passes, one in Curacao (minor disruption) and again in Miami (major cluster nonsense). Cold and demeaning treatment was maybe less the fault of TSA than it was on the facility problems of the Miami airport.

For people over 60 with health limitations, travel is not for them. Long walks in parking lots, transport to and from airport facilities, and lengthy TSA/Ticketing/Gate hikes is a major challenge. Not many people will choose to subject themselves to the rigor and exhaustion. This is an issue for airlines and airport administrators to contemplate for future marketing strategies.

Now for Curacao – it is an island nation several hundred years old. Its climate presents daily temperatures of 80 to 90 degrees with humidity ranging from 70 to 85%. Steamy. But the trade winds move the air constantly and make for pleasant living. The sun shines nearly everyday as it did for our 5 day stay.

Curacoa’s economy is driven by oil refineries and international oil shipments. The hospitality industry is the second largest player in the local economy. Cruise ships make frequent stops and resorts lure air travelers for languorous rests in the sun as well as deep sea fishing, snorkeling, diving and swimming. Boating holidays are plentiful. All this pleasantness attracts a growing expat community from several nations, adding to the polyglot culture which is rich and rewarding.

The people of the island are outgoing and aggressive in their attention to visitor needs. We felt pampered, but more importantly, we felt engaged in an open culture that values people of many backgrounds and viewpoints. An open and accepting community nation wide! A breath of fresh air to us, indeed.

Now the wedding. You know what to expect, even at a foreign site. But then the surprises started happening.

First was the generous amount of time available to mingle with all the participants, get to know them and how they fit into the life journey of the wedding couple. Friends of your son’s who were there, family members distanced by divorce, new life partners present that were not a dozen years ago, grandchildren growing up faster than the calendar should allow …, you get where we are going with this!

Then there are the new people in our lives, the bride’s family in all their cultural richness. Cuban for one half, and French Mexican for the other. The joy of their actions and interactions was a treat for the staid people of our family. We learned so much and appreciated the openness and friendliness. They cared about everyone and were not afraid to show it. This quality alone made the wedding trip a memorable one in our book.

Second was the wedding ceremony. It included all the usual segments, familiar to all. However, the emotions were laid bare as one family sensed the loss of past relationships and the emergence of new ones. Joyful, yes; tearful, most assuredly. Prepared for it? Not one bit. The catharsis enveloped friends and family alike. Maybe it was the freedom of place that made the ceremony so personal and meaningful? Who is to know? But the depth of feeling was very real and most welcome. We all knew a wedding had taken place in the fullest of its meaning and import.

Third, a ‘destination wedding’ provides shared experiences for all before, during and after the ceremony. Two days following the wedding we all departed for home, but the adventures shared with the bride and groom at the resort were magnified by the travel to and from the island paradise. An adventure it was in travel, emotions, international awareness and cultural appreciation, but most in family interactions and redefinition.

Our trip may be over but the memories flood our thoughts and will stir lingering flashes of insight for many years to come. A major investment with a huge payback. Such is life in good times and bad. May they continue to be special always.

Written September 22, 2011; posted to Blog on November 6, 2011