Moments of Pause

Early morning, quiet. Coffee is made. Clean dishes removed from dishwasher and put away. Emails are read. Internet sites scanned. Just posted today’s blog. Now pausing to contemplate what next to write about.

Today is Thanksgiving Eve. Nothing on schedule but evening church service; we are on the worship team. Time seems to be at a pause.

Awoke early. Thoughts floating in and out. What’s ahead today and the next few?

Well, Thanksgiving of course. But really it’s about family.

Son called me yesterday afternoon while he was driving back from Madison, Wisconsin; business meeting. Dark gloomy rainy day; sleepy day for driving; sky meets road and it all blends together. Water spray on windshield, constant misted blur. Side windows dripping, dripping, wind directed drips into interesting patterns. Music blaring to keep awake. Call Dad. Nice. Reassuring all is well. A reminder we will get together very soon.

Thanksgiving Day schedule shaping up; a little hectic. Sister in Law is first on the schedule. She is still adjusting her life a year after losing her Joseph. We shared last year’s Thanksgiving with her exclusively. Her dinner was super good! Small gathering but a gathering of granddaughters emerged to share the day with her and maybe future years as well? This year, yes; a sign of family connections taking shape in different patterns. Important patterns. A continuation of family ties; this time in new ways. Good.

Next on the schedule is the feast at my daughter’s home. Son in law and two granddaughters. Son and his bride will be there. Ex-wife and her husband will join us. And two of our dogs, too. Families take many shapes. In-laws. Exes; and their new partners. Dogs. Pets. They are all part of the mix. They each have meaning and purpose. Nice to gather like this.

Then on to yet another family gathering; this time it is my new daughter in law at her family’s evening open house. Lots of new family members to get to know better. Share our memories of the recent wedding that cinched our futures together. New family connections. New cultures to embrace. New tapestries of life to weave and feel and touch.

This is family. This is connectedness. It is not always so. There are eruptions and dislocations.

My partner’s family is one such. Broken marriage. Bitterness for 18+ years. Estranged relations that upset connections with two sons. One is a new homeowner, married to his sole mate; three boys from two homes concentrically forming a family; shared with two other homes in this modern age. The other son estranged by marriage partner; three granddaughters, each lovely and competent and maturing well. But not shared with us. Walls built to protect her fiefdom however strangely imagined. Do it her way or no way. Granddaughters access is ransom to her bidding. What does this do to them, the girls over the many years of life?

Two clans of family. One morphing into the future with eyes, minds and arms open to possibility. The other closing doors; sealed from new life; marginalized by themselves.

Two families. One vital. One not.

Interesting commentary on life posed by these two families. How much is intentional behavior. How much is acquired by serendipity? How much is selfish and self defeating? How much does this transfer to other walks of life we must take to survive?

And then the larger question: how much of this inward focus bleeds to society’s attempt at getting along with one another? Is this where fissures begin? Is this where beliefs and hurt feelings twist the body politic? Is the health of the American psyche actually a report card on the healthy relations of families?

Might be a topic worthy of study. Maybe sooner, not later?

May your Thanksgiving be blessed with the good things of life: family, friends, food and the warmth these all provide. Whatever shape they take, or are in!

November 24, 2011