Aging

The roll of fat came slowly into view. Twenty years it took. Slowly accumulating from an extra piece of pie; not often cake; sweet rolls, too. And cheesy crackers, lots of salt, toasted edges.  Then there were the English muffins, toasted well – you know the kind, blackened edges on craters of toast, strong enough to hold flavor and engulf melted butter without softening.

The steaks were good, too. But then they were mostly protein. Unless of course you count the huge baked potato covered in butter, salt, pepper, chives and sour cream. That potato was often dreamed of! The skin baked well enough to be thickened. The skin formed a boat for a skim of potato plus melted butter. Eaten like a piece of toast, the skin was full of flavor. The butter helped! So did the salt and pepper.

The cheesy creamed broccoli casserole was another accompaniment that came with the steak. The steak you see was not fattening. No, it was all the other things that came with it that added to the waistband.

Then there was dessert. Not often consumed at home, in a restaurant New York Style Cheese Cake is available. Tall and soft; crumbly crust on the bottom. Perhaps a drizzle of granache? Wind up the dinner table experience with a fine cup of coffee, hot and steamy with just the right amount of sugar. The candles are dwindling now, and so has the appetite.

The stomach, however, is full, satisfied, perhaps a little overstuffed.

The next day one does not notice last night’s dinner. But in a few weeks a succession of dinners will be noticed at the belt line.

Who is to care? Not me. Not any more.

The battle of the bulge was never mine. I was almost always skinny. Could eat anything in any amount and rarely gained an ounce. Then came the age of 50 and the diet began to show.

From a 32 waist to a 48 took a few years. They were good years. Very tasty. Very satisfying. Now, however, the weight is a drag, an anchor dragged everywhere I go. Instead of helping to burn calories the anchor slows me down and suppresses metabolism. Calories disappear slowly these days.

If weight mass is to be reduced it must come from fewer calories consumed plus more calories burned in activity.  Friends tell me to go for a walk. I do not want to. It is uncomfortable to move the feet, ankles and legs. Besides, the hips begin to ache quickly and even standing becomes a chore.

The truth: weight begets weight; also begets sedentary lifestyle which begets more weight. And the cycle is set and continues on its track.

There was a time this mattered. Not much anymore. I’m not engaged in a beauty contest, or a Mr. Universe pageant! No muscle. No tone. No physical beauty. Just here. A body serving its purpose.

The mirror reveals evidence of aging. The weight gain. The wrinkles. The gray hair creeping into view. Thinning hair, too. A jowl or two forms along the jaw line, and something dangles below the chin and its not a beard! When moving the head rapidly motion is detected in several spheres surrounding the face. Yes, things are changing.

Aging is like that. First a creep, then a gallop.

I know some people are fixated on this process. They fret about it. Even worry. And wish it were otherwise. Too bad, really. The aging process is a gift. It is the platform for perspective. It helps us realize what is important and what is not.

Appearance is not. Oh, it’s attractive. There is an allure. Maybe even a magnetism, but then it is gone in a whiff. Here today and gone tomorrow, you know? Beauty is not only skin deep it is, as they say, fleeting. Time takes care of all.

Aging. Appreciating. Deepening. Feeling and understanding more. Yes. It is a gift.

If you work with people in crisis you understand it more clearly. Drug addicts and alcoholics who cannot control their behavior and addictions. They want what you have – sobriety – but they seemingly cannot achieve it. They are missing a component of life that makes them what they are – at least until they recapture the essence of self that matter the most to them and returns them to health.

If you work with people who underachieve and freeze their minds while attempting to solve business or life problems, you begin to understand that what is important in life is not what you invent for yourself. No; it is what others give to you without asking for it. Their love, their support, their respect. From this you know a value placed on you by others and this becomes a big thing.

How could I have missed this about myself? How could miss this in others?

Easy. Too much focus on self leads to wreckage. Get out of self. Step away. Don’t fret over appearances. Help others with the contents of their life. And yours will be enriched without asking.

The best kind of riches.

May 22, 2014