Making A Difference

Ellen DeGeneres signs off her show each time with these words: “Be kind to each other.”

And she means it. It isn't a greeting like ‘Hi! How are you?’ or even ‘Have a nice day.’ No, Ellen is urging each of us to be kind to other people.

It is a reminder that we often are unthinking and not kind. Our natural instinct is not to be aware of ourselves at all times and so we are open to moments where we are harsh, cold, unfeeling and uncaring. It is a natural state of affairs for most people.

As we go about our busy lives – commuting, working, washing dishes, caring for the family pets, cars, self and other family members – we get lost in the details and time constraints. So our manners slip. And our caring. It is natural.

Ellen asks us to be kind to others because it is a simple reminder that we should and can but need a soft reminder. To be good. To be there for others. To extend a helping hand. To make life a little easier at difficult moments.

This is very basic.

The Golden Rule has been around in one form or another since man could scribble letters and keep a record of his life on earth.  The Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” In simpler language: treat others as you want them to treat you. Or as Ellen says, “be kind to each other.” It amounts to the same thing.

I am a grump. Lots of time that is my normal mood. Why? Because I ponder life a lot (it’s a burden!) and I worry a lot about how mankind is getting along, and what problems plague us and need to be fixed. It’s the way I am.

When someone knocks on the door, I answer it with a smile and a question as to why they are at my door. I am pleasant to these callers most of the time. If I am not, I can usually change my mood to become pleasant quickly. It is part of my learned manners. The result is normally pleasant.

When I am out and about on the streets and in stores, I greet people pleasantly and receive pleasant responses. Life is good! It becomes even more pleasant.

My problem in this being kind to others thing is when I get behind the wheel of the car. So many people acting so rudely or uncaringly.

Making turns without slowing down, or signaling their intention. Changing their mind and switching lanes at the last minute to make an unplanned turn. Idly slowing down the traffic by listening too intently to the radio, or scanning the cell phone for missed calls, or answering the phone, talking on the phone. Or worse, texting – getting and responding to text messages. No matter how skilled a driver, or how intelligent the mind, texting and phone use while driving distracts. Speeds are slower. Reaction times are reduced. Mindless driving habits become pronounced – slower speeds, lane drift – you name it and the results are clear. Distracted drivers are dangerous drivers.

And rude. Manner-less. Plain and simple. Difficult to be around in any circumstance, but especially so and dangerous when encountered behind the wheel.

Go back to being kind to others. Distracted drivers are unintentionally being unkind. They are unaware of what they are doing. And the effect on others.

The same when being a pedestrian. Do not walk and talk on the phone. Do not play games or text while walking. Pay attention to the others around you. At this very moment. Be engaged in the here and now.

That’s being caring. Do we really need laws for this sort of thing?  I don’t think so.

Just do as Ellen says.  After all every religion of moment throughout history has exhorted the same message. We still need to work on this.

May 28, 2014